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This is a question Devastating Put-Downs

Amorous Badger says: I once saw a former manager of mine being asked to 'sit down and let your mouth have a chance to speak' by his senior. What's the best heckle/putdown/riposte you've ever seen? (Hint: Recycled 'Your mum' jokes does not make an answer)

(, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:15)
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A Banker, a School Teacher, a Tory MP and a Daily Mail reader are sat around a table. In front of them is a plate, on which there are ten biscuits. The Banker scoffs nine of the biscuits, then the Tory turns to the Daily Mail reader and whispers in his ear "Watch out, that teacher is after your biscuit"
(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:24, 22 replies)
I like this
I like this so hard I wish I could press the 'I like this' button a million times.
(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:28, closed)
Is it original?
(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:36, closed)

(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 15:00, closed)
Suggested change:
The politician texts a colleague that the teacher is going to steal their biscuit, then the Daily Mail hacks their phone and prints it for the Daily Mail Reader to get outraged about.
(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:42, closed)
what biscuits were they?

(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:44, closed)
Bound to be - anything else wouldn't be worth bothering about.
(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:46, closed)
I would probably have been sick if i were the banker in that situation
Don't get me wrong I like biscuits and especially chocolate Hobnobs but I don't think I could eat that many in one sitting.
(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:50, closed)
Religious Wars!
He said Hobnobs, not Chocolate Hobnobs!

Not everything in the world is improved by the addition of chocolate*
Hobnobs are a case in point. Give me a "classic" one, any day.

* Moon Monkey's Third Law
(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:56, closed)
I agree that not everything is improved with chocolate
you are incorrect regarding Hobnobs though.
(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:00, closed)

(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:02, closed)
chocolate rich tea biscuits are the weirdest thing,
they don't even make sense.
(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:09, closed)
try the plain chocolate ones
same with digestives. it'll all make sense then.
(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:31, closed)
I like chocolate digestives, milk and plain,
(although I prefer milk, prepare the bonfire).
Chocolate rich tea biscuits, though - the rich tea is such an austere biscuit, it's like Mother Theresa in a cocktail dress.
(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:46, closed)
Haha I like that
I do like like your preference for plain chocolate over milk chocolate biscuits however.
(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:58, closed)
I imagine that the banked leaves all the biscuits, as he is too busy eating a croissant.

(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 13:46, closed)
What was the teacher doing during all of this?
Nothing, as usual.
(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:23, closed)

(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 14:33, closed)
And then they all turned to the private sector waiter standing next to the table and said “bring us more biscuits”

(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 15:01, closed)
to which the private sector waiter replied
We are all getting raped in the ass and going on strike won't get you any more biscuits (chocolate OR classic) so i think you should undo your belt and take it like a man like the rest of us lemmings.
(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 16:42, closed)

nabbing that for facebook! ta!
(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 15:28, closed)
for this being all over my facebook. You best get lots of *clicks* from here, s'all I'm saying.
(, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 20:23, closed)
I'd shoot all the teachers in front of their families
(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 10:08, closed)

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