Everything
Everything, and I mean everything in the world is generally because of penises. (Well duh)

Started a war? You were probably male and wanted to impress a girl.

Started a religion? Again, likely male, and not getting enough. OR, wanted to stop other males from doing it so you could do their ladies when the other men were dead/not looking/in rapture.

Held a door open for a lady? You were trying to put your penis inside her. There is a little part of you (your penis mainly) that says, when youre holding a door open for a lady - "Hmm.. maybe she'll notice that I'm opening this door very well, and allow me to fuck her later. I know I'm married, but I would have an affair, for a while. If she was fit and she didnt tell my wife."

Killed someone? Either over money/valuable items (therefore making you less attractive to females and less likely to be able to fuck them) or over women themselves(wouldnt let you fuck them, they fucked someone else). Women kill men for other reasons - but mainly cos they stuck their penises in other women.

Raped someone. Obvious really. Requires a penis. Generally considered shameful by both parties.

Thats about it really.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:32, 8 replies)

Admit it
You're Germaine Greer and I claim my £5
( betpet is the fun in dysfunctional, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:38, closed)

Yes, yes
I am. Claim away.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:39, closed)

I used to hold the door open for people lots when I was a toddler...
(tweebianmonkey Should be known as Widget, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:58, closed)

If I had a penis I would rule the world.
.
( girlinthehole, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:11, closed)

The downside being that your penis in turn would rule over you.
Can't have it all, y'know..
(Obsidian, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:13, closed)

I hear this a lot.
But then I think about Prisoner Cell Block H and realise it's all bollocks.
( argyleblanket The man on the roof works for me, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 17:32, closed)

So...

...us gay guys aren't to blame for anything?
(Musuko, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:28, closed)

Yes
Gok Wan, and scatter cushions.

Both heinous crimes
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 23:52, closed)