a penis is nothing to be envious of
A couple of years ago I was seeing a guy a lot younger than me. He was still living with his parents and I was a little concerned that they might be somewhat disapproving of our tentative relationship as it mostly consisted of their son having a great deal of sex with some auld Mrs Robinson type like me. In fact, they couldn't have been more welcoming and I had free rein of their son's bedroom. This may have had something to do with his mum finding his porn stash when cleaning. Shemale porn, and lots of it. The criteria for me being a decent girl for their son was based entirely on their relief that I didn't have a cock.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 16:13, 9 replies)

Fair plays to ya!
My parents were fucking extatic when I brought a girlfriend round for tea and biscuits.

They always thought I was a gayer.

Always.

From the age of about four.

Probably had something to do with being as effeminate as Quentin Crisps' camper younger brother til I hit puberty.
( SpankyHanky, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 16:17, closed)

I got this a lot too
When I introduced my first girlfriend to my dad, he greeted her warmly, then just as she was out of earshot he turned and said "at least she's not a chap, eh!"

Thanks dad.
( chart cat has an itch, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 3:40, closed)

haahahha
hahahahahaa
(Otter as serious as cancer, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 10:43, closed)

Although
Technically they didn't actually know whether you had a cock or not. boobs and a soft voice are no guarantee you're getting the real deal. After a slightly negative experience in a dingy club I always like to take a more hands on approach to my selection policy.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 16:21, closed)

Second that one
Not saying I wouldn't... But, you know, its nice to know up front.
( SpankyHanky, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 16:24, closed)

but...
"she" looked so beautiful under the warm glow of the strobe light. My eyes moved slowly down her body taking in the sight of her beautiful eyes and plunging top that revealed some stunning cleavage, but it was the sight of her bulging bikinis bottoms that set alarm bells ringing. Alas before I could make a full assessment she was standing so close to me that I couldn't see the bulge anymore. She started to slowly kiss my neck and I could feel her hard breasts pushing against my chest. Not wanting to ruin the tender moment, but at the same also wanting to make sure if she was who she appeared to be I decided approach the situation in the most tactful way possible - I grabbed her crotch.

Affirmative! I had in my hand meat and two veg with extra gravy. I slowly backed away and announced, "excuse me. I need a shit".
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 16:54, closed)

Tactfully done...
I'd have probably gone for the old: "Raise your hand if you've got a cock," routine... But I've got no class at all, me.
( SpankyHanky, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 16:56, closed)

Did he want you to give it to him with a strapon? Because lets face it, thats getting close...
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 9:15, closed)

He was broadminded
but there were plenty of other things in which to indulge so we never got the chance.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 10:01, closed)