If this makes it I have an epic...
It involves copious amounts of drugs, prostitutes, shady dealers, a six lane road, quite a lot of blood and transvestites. Oh, not forgetting the giant lizards. I hope this makes it, great idea!
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 13:10, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Vote for me!! hehe

I really want this to be the QOTW now cos I am very curious to hear your full unedited version!!! :D Sounds like some of the stag weekends I have been on :\
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Giant lizards?
You are Hunter S. Thompson, AICMFP.
(oball needs Satan more than he needs me, Tue 2 Mar 2010, 23:56, Reply)

Letters won it then?! hmph!
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 14:47, Reply)

Well, just for you then...
Sydney, 1999, just before the turn of the millennium and we - me, my mate and London lad we'd met over there - were off to party in Kings Cross. It all started fairly normally, but tonight we were to meet up with a couple of young Aussies that knew someone that could sort something out for us.

We met up, eventually, and headed into a large apartment block to go to a party and get sorted. Even on entering it looked like we were going to be a bit unwelcome, being bloody travellers and all amongst locals, but we banded together, got sorted and made the most out of it. Now in truth, it happened 10 years ago, and a lot of what happened I have no recollection of, until it started getting a little...twisted.

We left the party at some point, and headed over to a hotel room that one of the girls we were with had. The six of us went in, when she started talking about having seen her connection and shouldn't but was going to call him. She did. He was going to pop by later. Now London lad had been desperately trying to pull her all night. She was a few years younger than him, but he apparently broke down the barriers and they disappeared into the bathroom. We were a little surprised, especially as the lack of protection either of them had meant nothing major was going to happen but there was some crazy film on TV grabbing our attention, so it didn't really matter too much.

The other girl we were there with seemed a bit more bothered though. "Oh fuck, I'm really sorry about this" she said.
"er, what?"
"She's supposed to have given up"
"What?"
"H"
"erm..ok.."
"She was calling her dealer over here to get some more. She sleeps with people to get money"

It went on to transpire that her dealer was also her pimp, and that he was by all accounts a nasty piece of work, and she owed him. This information and the strong trip that was taking over our minds began to twist us somewhat. We'd had god knows what in our initial green pills (Even my hardcore raving mate had not seen or had anything like them) and a bit to smoke and drink on top.

Fuck. My mate was now out on the balcony calling me over. "Get me out of here" he asked. Mate London lad is in the bathroom with that girl, we can't leave him. "I can't take this, and I don't know where the fuck I am, you've got to help me". Fuck.

Trying to talk him down took a while, he would have walked on his own out the hotel and into one of the dodgier streets of Kings Cross if he could get there through the maze of the hotel corridors that existed in our minds. His other alternative was to crouch in the corner of the balcony and rock back and forward muttering dark dark thoughts to himself - I won't go into these, but they weren't an option.

It was not too long after that (it could have been an age, who knows) when London Lad came out of the bathroom. Covered in blood. Fuck. His right arm was being caressed by that shiny ruby sleeve from his fingertips to his elbow. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. The room was quiet, the tension only broken slightly by the emergence of the girl he entered in there with a couple of minutes later. Then her phone went: it was her dealer, he was nearly there, and was apparently quite fucked already. I however was not fucked enough to miss the wary looks between the other Aussie girl and her boyfriend. Time to get the fuck out of there.

The relief on my mates mind was extraordinary. He was fucked, but glad to be out of there. In getting the full story of what happened in the bathroom from London lad, (She was on and he'd had a play whilst getting a hand job, though had been too fucked for anything to actually happen) I'd not noticed we we're outside the car showroom on William Street where the TV hookers hung out. What was worse is that I had to tell London Lad about his 'amore' and as he'd cut his palm the day previously inform him he'd need to take an HIV test as soon as the nightmare was over, neither of my two friends were in much of a state to do anything other than stare at the expensive cars (I remember it as a Lotus Showroom?)and the cold night air had hit me and the world was bleeding into my head populated with unwanted attentions from the over-made-up cross-dressing hookers that if we weren't there to fuck them didn't want us there at all.

It took my deepest reserves to get us moving and heading in the general direction of the hostel. I only assume this, as the next thing I remember is a persistent angry beeping with what sounded like voices cutting through as I watched Lizards crawling over the skyline visible through the trees. A light was shining right at me, and I realised I was lying down and my friends were nowhere to be seen. As reality dawned, the light grew, from one to two, to four, to six, to more, with more behind me. the beeping noise was coming from there too and the voices started bombarding me and becoming a little more aggressive and urgent each time they found their way to me. Everything else was dark. Two more seconds and I realised I was lying down in the middle of Road through Hyde Park, facing 3 lanes of traffic each way, stopped, looking at me. I moved.

The advantage to this, if there really was one, is that the monstrous lizards that were by now crawling all over the city appeared uninterested enough in me to leave me alone if I didn't bother them. Personally I was more interested in locating my mates and getting back to the hostel and barricading myself in the room. I must have met them at some point as I retraced my steps to the transvestites, the last place I saw them, though parts of me recall my undesired return to the lobby of the hotel we were in previously, but truth be told, I don't remember.

Our walk home took an age. Frequently truncated by various reptiles crawling out of doorways and off rooftops, and with the most fucking evil roaches draining away to the shadows when we dared to approach. London lad was dropped off back at his hostel, a short walk from ours before we headed back, only to turn round and find London lad had followed us as he was too scared to be on his own right then, and honestly I can't blame him, a mixed dorm of strangers being the last place I'd have wanted to be too. He'd stayed too long in ours though and was unable to get in, so we walked him back to his. This must have repeated ten times before he finally stayed. The lizards had shrunk by the time I got into bed at dawn, though they were still there and had become a comfort. I finally passed out at god knows when.

Neither me or my mate did drugs for a very long time after that, and London Lad passed his test after a long 3 month wait. My Mate went home not long after, and whilst I did have another drug fuelled adventure with a Local from Nambucca confessing he wanted to roll us in his car as we were hurtling along lanes off our faces (we didn't know he was fucked until then), that is another story for another time. I tend to be distinctly underwhelmed by the idea that drugs are still fun and should form a regular part of ones life. I took it as far as I wanted to go, and quite frankly, I'm happy to leave it there.

So there you are bROKEN aRROW, just for you, Ihope your stags have been nothing like that!

Length? Well, I cannot remember. I lost a good few hours and took a whole day to recover from the ordeal.
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 14:06, Reply)

Thanks fior the story!
HAHA! love the story dude!! Really takes me back to 2001

I can relate to your story, I spent a whole week in Sydney in 2001. One of my nights out was in the notorious Kings Cross. Fuck me, what a night, started off really well talking to nice civilised people in bars/clubs etc....that soon turned in complete and utter filth passed 2am. Went to this club and got talking to this girl...by this time I was fucked on the local pills, I too have given these activities up due to bad come downs the next day but anyhooo, she invited me to the toilets, I thought for some more drug related tom foolery. Next thing she has got my trousers down and trying to take a chomp on the broken arrow. then something realy kicked in, a really bad feeling if you like. Although I am not gay, im in a gay club with what I thought was a woman but as you noticed on your trip the place was crawling with transvestites....yep you got it, one was just about to do the deed when the penny dropped...got the fuck out of their as soon as I could. luckily the arrow stayed dry in that incident and purcahsed some new glasses for good measure....phew

that place should come with a safety warning!!!!!!!!!!! And to make it worse I was at sydney airport going back to Brisbane when I looked at the airport monitors and noticed a plain flying into the twin towers,hmm die hard on the monitors, thats weird....not weird the day was Septemeber 11th 2001 and i was at an airport just about to get onto an internal flight, whilst trying to smuggle some weed through customs, luckily the guards were too pre occupied with staring the shit out of anyone that looked from Arab decent.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Haha,
Yeah, that place is special. Sounds like you called it a night at just the right time!
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Sun 14 Mar 2010, 23:48, Reply)

haha
yeah for sure!! Could make another QOTW under the heading, "tell us about your close shaves"
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 9:42, Reply)