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This is a question Random Acts of Evil

Mr Twisty Cheeky asks: As a contrast to last week's question - Has anyone ever been evil to you, out of the blue, for no reason? Have you ever been total twuntcake against all logic?

(, Thu 16 Feb 2012, 18:49)
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Just to look at him, after all these years...
This is a Random Act Of Evil which is still to happen. Let's just route this through the wavy-lines visual effects bus and take out the chrominance...
The year is 1969, I am five years old, blessed with truly glorious copper-coloured hair, and sitting in primary school in north London for storytime. A completely evil bastard child called Simon, in the same class, had developed a severe need to destroy me in any physical way possible based on the colour of my hair and, over a period of several months, had beaten me, kicked me, given me bloody noses, and been utterly crap toward me, to the extent that his extreme bullying in deeds and words had once made me shit myself in class. The teacher, by the way, did very little even after my parents complained about Simon, because Simon's mother was a teacher of another class in the same primary school. The last straw was that, while sitting cross-legged waiting for storytime to begin, the scum that was Simon walked over and kicked me in the teeth, with a wallop that splattered blood over the mat. Luckily, my parents knew a good dentist. The kid was eventually moved to another class. But I never forgot. Ok, move the wavy lines fader again, chrominance back up...
I've found Simon on 'Friends Reunited'. He's quite open about running a company that hires out stage kit in west London. Well, I never. My own work often involves hiring that kind of thing.

So I'm going to hire something from him. Nothing too fancy; something that will be hired and returned without a problem. But when I return it to his company, I'll make sure he's there: his company isn't so big that he can't handle the return paperwork himself. And I'll face him, and see his name on the paperwork, and he'll see mine. And I'll say,

"Thanks for the hire. Worked perfectly. Oh, Simon, do you remember Suburban Primary School, Class 2? You wrote about it on 'Friends Reunited'. [Pause] I was the red-headed kid, in the same class before you were moved in 1970. I remember you. [Pause] Must go: the parking ticket's up."

And then I'll leave. Straight away. He'll have my email and phone number if he needs to say anything.

I forgive easily if someone is sorry. I've done too many crap things in the past to be short on forgiveness. But I shat myself, and was crying in the mornings, scared to go to school sometimes because of the bastard that fellow was, back then when he was little but vicious. I'd like him to have some time to think about what he did. Perhaps he already has.
(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 13:14, 25 replies)
So you've been bearing a grudge for the past 43 years
against someone who did a few bad things to you when you were both 5 years old. Good job.
(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 13:20, closed)
That's a bit harsh
other people do the same. I'm still no fan of Gary Glitter.
(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 13:22, closed)
this should sit under
Random acts of evil in my head.

Along with

Arguments ive had with people in my head


Funny quips and retorts I remembered too late.

If the QOTW was named this - I would have sh!t loads of stories.

Horribly bullying though.
(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 13:25, closed)
or, you could let it go.
you know, because you were both FIVE YEARS OLD. and it was OVER FORTY YEARS AGO.

(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 13:33, closed)
You shit yourself in class.

Stinky pants, stinky pants.

Is what he'll say when he realises who you are. I, of course, am fucking lovely and far too nice to do that.
(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 13:39, closed)
Holy shit, people still use friends reunited?

(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 13:42, closed)
best of all the grudge-bearing websites.

(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 13:45, closed)
This is a very good point.

(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 14:11, closed)
So is this meeting something that has actually happened then? I mean, if it hasn't then you should really try to not shit yourself when you do meet him.

(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 13:46, closed)
I am willing to bet several thousand pounds that he doesn't remember you at all, and still won't even if you do get to recite your speech that you've been working on since you were 5.
Fucking hell, get over it and grow the fuck up.
(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 13:47, closed)
I'll bet several thousand pounds he just says "So what?"
He's bound to be an even bigger cunt now than he was then.
(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 13:50, closed)
I'm half this prick's age, and I can't remember a single person I went to school with when I was 5.
The guy will probably go 'Oh yeah, great, how are you?' and pretend like he gives a fuck so he'll get paid.
(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 13:53, closed)
The guy won't remember you and you really have spent way more of your life obsessing over it than you should have
Nothing that any of us did when we were 5 can (or needs to) be explained or answered, even random acts of violence. He's moved on, you should too.
(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 14:01, closed)
Is your other hat less sensible and considerate?
Wear that and stop making me feel guilty for finding this amusing...
(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 14:05, closed)
I promise I'll be mean to the next one
(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 14:31, closed)
Either let it go
Or run the cunt over when he's leaving work.
(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 14:15, closed)

(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 15:07, closed)
You're doing the right thing, by confronting your tormentor you'll be able to close this chapter and move on with your life.
Hope it works out mate.
(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 14:33, closed)
funniest reply yet
(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 14:50, closed)
You love him, don't you?
I hope you get to have the angry sex you crave and it helps heal you.
(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 15:31, closed)
Is there any other kind of sex?

(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 16:06, closed)
I thought you'd be more familiar with the pity variety.

(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 16:39, closed)
He posted about having a new girlfriend recently. HE DEFINITELY ISN'T A YEAR OLD VIRGIN !!!

(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 16:59, closed)
After 40 years of seething resentment,
you could at least behead him and dispose of the evidence in a bin. Popping round to say "hello" is a bit of an anti-climax.
(, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 19:13, closed)
Or at least do a shit inside a speaker stack or something.
Or kill someone else that Simon knows, put the body in the speaker and let the police find it.
Or keep breaking into his office at night and rearranging the furniture so he thinks he's gone mad.
(, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 7:49, closed)

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