Was I conned? You decide (but obviously, yes.)
I normally ignore people who ask me for money in the street, but recently a tearful young lady approached me as I ambled through Islington at about 11.30pm appealing for money for tube/bus to get to South London. Some sort of vaguely plausible but not likely explanation was provided for how she'd found herself in this situation.

On this occasion, however, I'd just finished a book exploring game theory, Nash equilibria etc etc, and this made me analyse the possibilities thusly:

1) It's true and I don't give her money OUTCOME: I'm an arsehole
2) It's true and I do give her money OUTCOME: I'm a nice-ish person
3) It's false and I don't give her money OUTCOME: I'm a sensible person
4) It's false and I do give her money OUTCOME: I'm a gullible fool

I rapidly concluded that 2 was good, 4 was fine, and that 1 and 3 were bad. So I gave her a tenner. (don't worry, I didn't explain this out loud).

So B3tans, what do you think: Is there any cure and will I ever be able to behave like a normal fucking person?

***EDIT: Yes, of course I know it was a scam. And I knew this at the time. The point was I was rethinking about decision-making focused on outcomes rather than likelihood, following reading about the subject. I didn't think this was a "great plan". I was trying an alternative way of thinking for real - with my money. It actually happened this way. That may make me a cunt apparently, judging by some replies.
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:28, 40 replies)

I'm not entirely clear why 3 is bad.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:36, closed)

I don't like sensible people.
They are tedious.
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:40, closed)

Oh god, you're 'zany', aren't you?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:44, closed)

No, not zany.
Just not very sensible. I'm not claiming to be interesting or nothing.
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:45, closed)

Asking for money
to get somewhere on the bus/train etc, has been around for years.

You got scammed, so it's

5) You got scammed.
(username failed moderation, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:40, closed)

Yeah. I know.
So that was option 4. Which I know really.

But I don't mind being gullible. There are worse flaws to have...
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:41, closed)

Some junkie round here
Asks people for money 'tae git tae hospital and see mah pregnant blon' outside o'neils. I've been here 6ish years now and he was at it then. You'd think it would have burst out by now.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 16:16, closed)

why was 3 a bad outcome?
Surely being sensible is OK.

I would have had that down as the optimum outcome and had an extra tenner for kebabs and taxis.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:41, closed)

if a man approaches you just off bishopsgate and he has a big cut on his arm and needs money to go to hospital,
tell him to fuck off. he redoes that cut every day. he does need a hospital, but more for his mental health needs than anything else.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:50, closed)

Blimey that is a bit extreme.
This one definitely wasn't a loony. Quite probably a scammer, but not insane.
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 16:06, closed)

You gave her £10 to get from Islington to south London?!!
You tit.

Can I borrow £50 for a cup of tea, please guv?
(Sloppy Giuseppe, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:54, closed)

Haha!
Spare £20 for a cup of kopi lawak?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 15:58, closed)

She was asking for £4 I think...
...but I had no change. I definitely couldn't be arsed to go and get change in order to give her £4.

I'm not good with money.
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 16:05, closed)

Clearly.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 20:04, closed)

.
Some guy asked me for a quid to ring his parents to pick him up, then a few minutes later when I was walking back down the same street he asked me again. At least remember my generous face fool!
( Regger, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 16:38, closed)

It's egotistical idiots like you that promote the beggar culture that results in ganglords forcing albanian mothers to beg with children so they can get their cut.
Many of these people are not 'poor beggars' they are cruelly manipulated worker drones for professional criminals whose other enterprises are usually drugs and prostitution.

Well done for being an enabler you twunt. Hope it made you feel more of a holier-than-though prick. Next time give the cash to shelter or a Big Issue vendor.
( da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 17:36, closed)

take a couple of feminax and calm the fuck down.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 18:18, closed)

***Original reply deleted***
Because it was a bit angry, and childish. Sorry if you read it.

In a more balanced manner:
1) I'm unsure of the evidential basis for the majority of people asking for money being albanian drug dealers. She was from Nottingham by the accent

2) I think your tone is quite patronising, and ironically holier-than-thou. I'm sure you mean well, but I think you go about changing other people's behaviour in an ineffective manner.
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 18:24, closed)

So zany=impulsive?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 10 Feb 2012, 22:31, closed)

"impulsive" would be rather over-egging it
ill-considered is probably more accurate.
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 1:11, closed)

Didn't read your reply to my reply - nowt wrong with angry & childish on the interwebs though...
Sorry if you took my post to heart; I get so used to people calling each other a cunt on b3ta that I probably overdid the aggression.

By way of explanation, the part of London where I live and work had an explosion of Albanians a couple of years ago who were begging with their children on the tube and in the streets. I have strong feelings about what I consider the abuse of children, and this was frankly exploitative. It is beginning to happen again, and yes, a lot of them do seem to be Albanian (and more recently Roumanian) which is where that bit came from.

Most people who beg have disorganised lives, substance abuse issues, and commonly mental health issues. The best way to help them is to give to them indirectly by cash to charities that work to help them out of the hole they are in. Leave it to the professionals rather than helping their drug habit, not to mention the externalisation of the locus of control that comes with being dependent on the vicariousness of others by begging.

On a more general note though, charity is a bizarre thing. Its main function is to make the giver feel better about him/herself; it generally achieves little. Even Band Aid raised just 52 million pounds, less than half the cost of a single Eurofighter.

Muslims have Zakat (the third pillar of Islam), most Western God-botherers have a similar tithe to ensure their place in heaven. As an atheist I see it as my moral duty to give to the needy just so I can argue with the religious that I am doing so not because my invisible friend has told me to, but that it is the right thing to do. I give by setting up a deed of covenant to the charities that I believe in (NSPCC and The Amber Foundation) and random donations to Shelter and overpaying Big Issue sellers. Why them? because they are not sexy, do not rely on posters of fluffy animals, and are near to home.

To be honest, I might have given a tenner to a vulnerable young adult who might genuinely been stranded in Central London and at risk of rape or worse. I probably wouldn't have mentioned it on b3ta though... ;)
( da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Mon 13 Feb 2012, 22:20, closed)

Pft - no worries
in the unlikely event you read this...

On another day wouldn't have taken it to heart, but had just had one of them days. No offence taken, I think you had the right motives, and I should man up and be ready for the cut and thrust of QOTW or not post.

Oddly, I am more inclined to post when on a crappy day than on a day when life is all good. This is frankly poor decision-making and a flatlining learning curve.
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 16:30, closed)

:) we should totally gay up and hug now.

( da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Tue 14 Feb 2012, 20:23, closed)

I like this.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 20:03, closed)

I do not.
Assuming there's a massive conspiracy or overlord behind something as inefficient as begging is absurd.
(McChinaman banned, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 22:59, closed)

I think that Shelter and The Big Issue are both good causes,
and deserving of people's money.
The begging conspiracy stuff is probably bunk, but who doesn't enjoy a good rant?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 23:09, closed)

The ranter usually.
While it's entertaining to see someone go apoplectic, they rarely seem to enjoy it as much as the rantee.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 0:39, closed)

If in this case I was the rantee...
I didn't enjoy it. At all. Actually genuinely upset me. Which is kind of feeding the trolls I know, but really did make me quite angry.

I'm not really a very good person, but I try not to be a very bad person either, and the strength of sentiment in their comment seemed to be quite disproportionate.

So I did that thing people do on the internet and was a total dick in return, before realising that wasn't good and deleting it.

Bah. Ever had that "wish I'd never posted anything" feeling?
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 1:19, closed)

Don't take it to heart
it's only qotw after-all.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 11 Feb 2012, 5:17, closed)

if it boosts your ego ...
then by all means give money to people with unlikely stories. But, like everyone else who doesn't live in a tiny, remote village, you will be familiar with the concept of beggars.

People who ask you for money and give you a story are beggars who make a bit of extra effort. You got done, and you knew you were being done at the time. Don't understand why you're bragging about it.

You are male. A tearful young lady approached you. Why do you think she didn't approach a woman? Young women on their own are in a potentially vulnerable situation. They know this, so try to avoid talking to male strangers. Face it. She sussed you as a likely mark.
(slowly play it cool, Trig, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 18:40, closed)

take a couple of feminax and calm the fuck down.
/ac
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 10 Feb 2012, 19:35, closed)

I absolutely know this
I put it in the subject, and then again in the context of the story, and then again in replies to other people's comments.

no REALLY: I know I was scammed. Genuinely.
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 1:13, closed)

Here's a formula for you.
Fool+Money=Soon Parted.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 10 Feb 2012, 22:32, closed)

Trufax
Fair cop

Bang to rights.

**Still puzzled about the whole putting a fairly consistent message of "I was an idiot" into a story, but other people replying "HA YOU WERE AN IDIOT" thing**
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 1:15, closed)

Try dice living instead
read "The Dice Man" by Luke Reinhart.
It's sooooo much more fun than outcomes based projections.
Also whose outcome? Yours, hers or both.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 11 Feb 2012, 4:55, closed)

Is fun
My maths teacher at school many years ago used to do this with homework, basing the quantity/complexity on the roll of a dice. Good way to drum probability into your pupils.
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 11:11, closed)

I like your sig.
dice man is shit though.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 15:16, closed)

I think you have the outcome to number one wrong.
Just because you meet someone who needs help, it doesn't make you an arsehole to not help them. You pick and choose when to be nice in this life.

I really learnt this living in South East Asia for the best part of a decade. If you tried to help every person up shit creek who approached you, you'd be fucked yourself.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 8:43, closed)

good point.
But I suppose I was viewing the incident in isolation. On a larger scale, agree this line of thinking would doom us all to be arseholes most of the time - whenever we weren't helping someone...
( prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Sat 11 Feb 2012, 11:07, closed)

I think it would have been much better you did explain your analysis aloud to her.
You'd probably be launching into possibility 3) and she'd just say "You know what, forget it mate."
( Pig Bodine., Tue 14 Feb 2012, 12:48, closed)