The Bicycle Thieves
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back in the mid-90's I went to a free festival in New Cross. drove up from leafy Surrey with a mate, plan was to see the bands, drink some beer, crash in the car & drive home the next day

anyway, said mate pulls & disappears (this is in the days before ubiquitous mobile phones) & I find a note on the car saying that he'll meet me back there at 9 the next morning (didn't she mate a mate ffs?!)

so I wander around for a bit & then crash in the car for the night. being the middle of summer, it's light at stupid o'clock & I wake up & can't get back to sleep, so I go for a wander to see if I can find somewhere open for some breakfast whilst my mate is no doubt getting his morning oats
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so, I wander through the park, where the festival was held. in the park, amid the detritus of yesterday are two gentlemen having a spirited argument over a bicycle. obviously having met an impasse in the negotiations, one of our protagonists grabs the bike, jumps on & cycles off. protagonist #2 is obviously not too happy about this because he picks up a brick, runs after protagonist #1 & twats him around the head with it. #1 falls off the bike, #2 drops his brick, picks up the bike & cycles off. #1, bleeding from the head, then picks up the brick, runs after #2 & twats him around the head, causing him to falls off. this goes back & forth maybe half a dozen times each way, with each getting progressively bloodier & shoutier until eventually one manages to escape on the bike, leaving one angry, bloody man with a brick in his hand in the park. at which point I decide that there's no breakfast, but perhaps a brick to the head, to be had in the park, & depart
(weaselinajetengine, Sun 24 Apr 2011, 19:10, 4 replies)

I like to think I'd have the presence of mind to ride off with the brick after the first couple of 'rounds'

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 24 Apr 2011, 19:19, closed)

The Chuckle Brothers' over-18s only routine...
...obviously needed more work.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Mon 25 Apr 2011, 0:09, closed)

The thing that's wildly 'random' about this is the structure of your writing.
( 6821isnotmyPIN Bored cig., Mon 25 Apr 2011, 1:26, closed)

What's wrong with you?

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 25 Apr 2011, 10:38, closed)