Frustration. The definite
I dated a fetish model and stripper, after the initial spark grew cold we struggled along. Obviously the sex was not really happening from her perspective despite me finding her hotter than the stuff you get in freshly toasted Pop Tarts (*obvious joke removed*), so throughout the rest of our relationship (another 14 months) I was slavering for humpage like a man possessed and suffered the worst case of blue watermelon sized balls ever inflicted on a man.

Still, we're friends now so all good.

[first post in forever!]
(Monchberter Can't go wrong with Doom, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:45, 21 replies)

Textbook QOTWing here, well played.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:54, closed)

Needs more Aspergers.
(mark schmark, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:55, closed)

A worthy first attempt at a tale though.
He neglected to mention the bit where he snorts massive drugs in the Accord when going to pick her up too.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:57, closed)

I read this as 'needs more asparagus'

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 13:12, closed)

So early on in the week too.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 13:47, closed)

In the majority of cases, fetish models don't actually have fetishes
They're used for other people's fetishes, but are paid quite a lot for it. It sort of depends how much your dignity is.

My friend was a fetish model. She hated it, but she's pretty well off now.

The reason I say this is you mention that the "sex was not happening from her perspective". This wasn't because you weren't into the stuff she was. It's because you're shit at sex.
(__, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:57, closed)

Not really fetish, she just enjoyed looking shit hot in rubber.
No money in it though when 18 year olds will do it for free to show how liberated they are...
(Monchberter Can't go wrong with Doom, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 13:04, closed)

So why was the sex shit?

(__, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 13:06, closed)

He couldn't get her out of the rubber...

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 13:10, closed)

Obviously

(__, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 13:11, closed)

Put simply, if your job involves having load of blokes trying to grope your ladybits all day
you tend to not want to have to deal with it from your chap after a hard day's pole dancing.
(Monchberter Can't go wrong with Doom, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 13:12, closed)

Pole dancing in a rubber outfit?

(__, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 13:17, closed)

There's only one result on YouTube for that and it's this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9uSqboUorM

Your girlfriend looks nice.
(__, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 13:19, closed)

ugly girlfriend
but at least she'd had a 'good shave'. so her legs would be smooth i guess.
(dyllon nice beaver., Thu 21 Oct 2010, 14:57, closed)

"Put simply, if your job involves having load of blokes trying to grope your ladybits all day
...you tend to not want to have to deal with it from your chap after a hard day's pole dancing."

This is bullshit. You know that though, right?
(rampants, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 14:07, closed)

You frigid tart.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 12:59, closed)

I will take my criticism with good humour, textbook indeed.

(Monchberter Can't go wrong with Doom, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 13:00, closed)

There's a good boy.
We can't have any stories involving having sex with actual girls, getting revenge, or indeed fun of any kind, even if (perhaps, especially if) they are true.

It just gets the natives too excited before their afternoon nap.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 13:04, closed)

Oh do fuck off.
You utter fucking prick.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 13:18, closed)

I'm still eager to find out if she was a pole dancer or a rubber fetish model

(__, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 13:19, closed)

fetish lifelike
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 14:00, closed)