Never fall in love with a nymphomaniac...
I was going out with a nurse 5 years my senior and not only was she an absolute nymphomaniac but she also had her own car – I didn’t even have a licence. One night when picking me up to go out clubbing I noticed a new car sticker on her car – “The Rio, Didcot”.
I casually asked when she had got it as I knew it was a new style and she replied that it came in the post with her membership renewal. Without much thought I said that I hadn’t received a car sticker with my membership and she replied “Well you don’t have a car”.
Thought for a second and said “Yeah, but they don’t know that!”

There seemed to be a sudden change in her demenour - she looked very tense - so I jokingly added “Come on, my mate Bammy saw you there last night with that bloke!”
She went pale and was very, very quiet.
I knew it was over and I was gutted.
My “joke” had been uncannily accurate.
She had indeed been there the night before; picked up a bloke she knew and let him shag her in the back of her car.

I was gutted beyond belief. My dreams of growing old with her were crushed. To say I adored her would be an understatement - I would have crawled over ten miles of broken glass just to brush my teeth with her shit.

However I am so lucky to now be with the woman I truly love more than life itself. Not one crappy moment that I can recall in 27 years.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 16:27, 6 replies)

This is a harsh tale
but I'm clicking just for "would have crawled over ten miles of broken glass just to brush my teeth with her shit."
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 16:45, closed)

A variation: "crawled ten miles over broken glass just to wank on her shadow"

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 16:58, closed)

Isn't it from Trainspotting?
Except it says "use his shite as ma toothpaste".
(McChinaman banned, Fri 22 Oct 2010, 4:05, closed)

The Rio, Didcot sounds like a classy place

(benito vaselini no not that one, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 16:51, closed)

"let him shag her"?
Sexist pig.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 19:24, closed)

You would do what now?
(hairybuddha, Thu 21 Oct 2010, 22:02, closed)