Sometimes you wonder why....
I'm remarkably lucky. I know that. I've been with the girl who is now my wife for nearly 14 years and we agree sufficiently closely on all of life's major issues that there's rarely something we can't work out amicably enough. However, I had the misfortune of having a glimpse of another relationship the other day and it made me realise just how bad it does get for some people.

I was coming home on the train about 3 weeks ago after one of the worst days of my life.* It was dark out but not late - maybe 8:30 ish and I got into a virtually empty carriage. Also joining the train in my carriage were a couple who got on through the other doors. They had been making some noise on the platform but some was cross sounding and some obvious laughter so I just thought they were having a slight disagreement in an otherwise pleasant evening.

As we started moving, their discussion progressed to becoming quite heated. They moved onwards to cross and through positively angry until they were raging at each other full-out about who was trying to get whom back on crack and whose rehab clinic was about be told about which particular transgression or proclivity. All this time (perhaps only 10 minutes or so) I sat with my back to them in the seat I had chosen to not overlook them in the nearly empty carriage and thought to myself that it was really none of my business and that I had already had a crappy enough day as it stood.

What followed I still find hard to believe on several counts. I could tell from the voices that they were both now standing, shouting at each other from close quarters but then suddenly there was a ringing slap and a woman's cry. I looked around to see the woman getting up from the seat and I stood myself, thinking at least that with an obvious witness the guy would hold off touching her again. But no. With another whole-arm slap to the face he knocked her back onto the seat again, shouting all the while.

I would have said that faced with that situation I would have been wracked with indecision. Should I become involved and risk being attacked by the pair of them? Should I shout out that I would call the police if he continued, or should I perhaps just let them get on with it and just be glad it wasn't me? In fact, the next thing I knew I was an inch or two from the guy's face, fists raised and shouting with the sort of ferocity I would never have imagined I possessed. Now I'm not a heavily built guy but I had several inches in height on this bloke and I suspect the near-insane rage that my terrible day and his behavior had engendered was probably showing. We were, fortunately, approaching a station and while I am pleased to say that I didn't touch the guy, he clearly got the hint that he wasn't welcome as I shouted that I would f'ing kill him from a distance of about 3 inches. God knows what I was thinking. Anyway, he jumped out at the station, swearing and shouting that he would shop this girl to her rehab clinic for something or other and we continued on our way.

Now every story has two sides and I only heard one, but I'm not really that worried about a balanced account from a bloke who hits his girl on trains. After the guy had gone I spoke to the girl for a while, as much to be sure she was OK as anything. Apparently this is a guy who "loves" her, but who cheats on her, tries to get her back onto hell-knows what and then threatens to report her to her rehab group so that she'll get thrown out of that if she doesn't do whatever he wants. Another guy had appeared when things kicked off and the two of us tried to say to her that a bloke who would slap her around in public view didn't know what it meant to love someone but she must have been told that many times before. She had 4 kids apparently, so I can only hope the lot of them are well away from him.

So there you go. You may be in a crappy relationship but at least (s)he doesn't slap you about on a train, try to get you hooked on crack again and undermine your attempts to get yourself straight, all the time telling you how much he loves you. And if (s)he does, please, for the kid's sake if not your own, get the hell out while you still can.

Standard apologies apply.

* Really
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 17:55, 7 replies)

lovely story
I'll bet a weeks money that if it all kicked off the police would have arrested you. Well done you..
(waxdart hello., Mon 25 Oct 2010, 18:14, closed)

Very probably
After things calmed down I was just pleased not to have got myself stabbed, but I worry what he will do to her next time. If he will hit this girl in plain view what would he do to her in private?
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 18:21, closed)

I salute your bravery.
And I honestly hope you made a difference.

That said, you were lucky she didn't twat you with a stiletto heel as that seems to be the usual response to stepping in.
(Big D, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 18:32, closed)

Thank you - but it was not brave in the least...
... because that implies some sort of conscious decision to intervene.

I quite genuinely don't know how I got from my side of the carriage to theirs. I may have flown for all I remember and in honesty I wouldn't be too surprised if I had.

I cannot say that I would do the same again because I know that as often as not the pair of them will turn on anyone who tries to come between them. Something just broke for a moment there.

I just hope that she realises she's well off away from him before he goes even further.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 18:44, closed)

not likely
unfortunately
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 19:57, closed)

I fear you are right.
But I hope so nonetheless.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 23:40, closed)

I like
That you put The Fear into him.
(lemonadegame, Mon 25 Oct 2010, 23:45, closed)