A tale of two crappy relationships?
I will admit that this is pretty epic and may not put me in a good light but it is the way it happened and I’m not too bothered about your opinion I have made my mistakes and can live with them. Flame away if you want I can take it, I’m always prepared for the worst.

I started to become attracted to S quite a while back, she was great, funny and seemed to get along with me pretty well. The only downside was that she worked for me and was also in a pretty long term thing with an acquaintance I shall call T.

T was a bloke who was the polar opposite of me, we had been mates at one point but had really drifted apart (hence why I called him an acquaintance earlier). By this point in my life I valued my career and took a mature and businesslike approach to most things he would spend his time reading comics or playing with his toys (Collectable figurines was a name he liked to give them but really they were sodding kids toys) – he also had no real aims in life and seemed to just bumble along doing bugger all.

One night S was working late with me and she mentioned that she was having problems at home and was getting sick of him being immature and she was slowly falling for another bloke. To cut this epic tale short that bloke was me, we started off with an affair that eventually led to her asking me to start a proper relationship with her. What I didn’t realise was the nutter that T was hiding behind his slacker demeanour.

Firstly he set himself up in a house with another woman, and attempted to get S back. The thought of living without S seemed to have unhinged him a little as the next time we met ended with me in the back of an ambulance with my knackers in extreme pain. I also had my car vandalized and was beaten up thanks to him. A few months later and he appeared to move on, but what I didn’t realise was that I should have paid attention to S.

This woman who ditched her bloke for a more mature man had decided that I wasn’t really what she wanted and ditched me too. It turns out that the whole time I had been seeing her she had been also leading T on with false hopes of getting back together sending him letters and calling him on the telephone. S had enjoyed the attention she received from him. and the vain bitch was also pretty jealous that T had moved straight in with another woman.

Anywhoo T must have seen sense in his time away and told S to sod off (rumour has it that he started into a relationship with the lass he was shacked up with and had a daughter that he tried to call Luke, hope that this isn’t true that’s a horrid name for a girl). As she was left with no other person to feed her ego S decided to come crawling back to me. Naturally I took her back because I love her and you may call me stupid for doing so but I don’t care because I'm Duane Benzie.

Gotta go, the telephones ringing.

Usual apologies for length and deep voice.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 9:22, 6 replies)

I knew it was coming..
but I couldn't tell who it was before you revealed it.

Daddy cool.
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 9:34, closed)

I don't normally like these
but this one took me in hook, line and sinker

well played
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 9:49, closed)

Gah
I smelled a rat at the beginning but couldn't guess who it was right 'til the end, you crafty fox. Have a click
( Droog is too orangey for crows, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 10:26, closed)

good one
you forgot the alcaholic landlady and the artist that lived downstairs
(Gru being trolled since 1998, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 11:25, closed)

damn you!
i got to the Luke bit and then re read it thinking along star wars lines...

it's one of my favourite things of all time and it just didn't click til Duane Benzie (and for half a second i was thinking of Dwayne Dibley before the inner me shoulder barged him out of the way)
(Ross McBingobangobongo bingobangobongo, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:32, closed)

*doffs cap*
Hey Deadhead... Take a bite of peach
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:55, closed)