Lovely girl
It was our second Valentine's day and she came home from work with a massive bunch of roses. "Thank you so much!" she cried, hugging me close. I was out of work at the time, and had to confess that they weren't from me. Turns out they were from a guy she worked with.

Obviously I wasn't happy, and said that this guy obviously had designs on her. I'd appreciate it if she didn't encourage him. She said she hardly ever spoke to him anyway, and she certainly wasn't socialising with him.

Except she was, behind my back, for a couple of years until I came home unexpectedly to find them together in our flat. There was an argument to say the least, and we broke up not long after. They got married and they live in Mexico now. I hear from mutual friends she hates it there, but can't leave because he bought her the dog she always wanted, so she's stuck there for the lifespan of the dog. Oh, and a friend of hers on facebook tells me she's got really fat lately.

Bitter? Moi?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 11:25, 14 replies)

Oof.
Still - presumably you managed to fetch him a good punch in the face, that was all the more strengthened by self-righteous fury?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 11:35, closed)

I wish I had
As it was I was all sensible and "Get the fuck out of my flat or I'll decapitate you with this Telecaster" (held menacingly by the neck)
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 11:46, closed)

Did you not develop the need to get stabby-stabby when you found them?
i would.
( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 11:43, closed)

Held it in check, thankfully
I'd like to think I was the better person even if I did threaten him with guitar-based death
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 11:47, closed)

You were going to bore him to death with your rendition of 'Wonderwall'

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:07, closed)

Come on
There's few crimes that deserve Wonderwall.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:13, closed)

I think you'll find...
It's "...there're ...".
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 21:05, closed)

Not if you're using vernacular.
Dear Christ must concerns of grammatical illucidation be all?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 8:57, closed)

It is vernacular to use aks...
... it would also appear to be (my) vernacular to pronounce "to" and "too" differently -- perhaps we should also just use "there" for "their" and "ther're" also? Perhaps that's just "me predudices" from "wat ma muvva learned me"?
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 18:14, closed)

LOL
ROLF

PMSL
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:18, closed)

Guitar-based death
...is that 'stairway to heaven' played on your £90 Encore electric from Argos over and over again whilst he's tied down?

Got a great vision in my head.
( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 13:55, closed)

As per reply above
"Get the fuck out of my flat or I'll decapitate you with this Telecaster" (held menacingly by the neck)
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 14:35, closed)

I'd be bitter too
stabby bitter, so you did well to control yourself. Nobody really knows what they would do in that situation until it happens to them, at least you have learnt you've a lot of self control.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 26 Oct 2010, 12:49, closed)

Seeing as I'm a 'I'll make you come twice before I do' guy
This won't be happening to me

*skips into the distance*
(lemonadegame, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 1:51, closed)