Worked as a temp for a law firm.
It was in some converted loft in Lahndan and had its own fitted kitchen with coffee machine and American-style giant fridge, because the firm was filthy rich.

One of the senior partners was on a diet at the time and was in a quasi-permanent bad mood, but allowed himself "cheat days" where he could basically eat whatever the hell he wanted all day and magically keep slimming. The arrival of this particular cheat day was heralded by his portly pinstriped form arriving at 07:00 and heading straight for the fridge with a large box of posh takeaway cakes.

Surely he wouldn't notice if just one of those cakes vanished from its box via a hitherto unexplained phenomenon of quantum cake tunneling.

I waited until 10:30, a time when I felt sure he'd be in a meeting with a client or in chambers or generally nowhere near the vicinity of the kitchen, before wandering off nonchalantly to make myself a coffee and investigate the contents of the box. Unfortunately, this was the exact time he chose to have a mid-morning coffee and an eclair, and he strode into the kitchen to find said eclair being lifted from the box by my impertinent early-twentysomething fingers.

A few moments later I was being escorted from the premises by the aforementioned senior partner and flung out onto the street with a parting cry of "STAY ABOUT FROM MY BINGE!".
( .Yeti., Tue 3 Jun 2014, 14:56, 10 replies)

You cunt.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:00, closed)

Have at you.

( .Yeti., Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:01, closed)

*grudging respect*

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:02, closed)

I'm not too proud to take that.

( .Yeti., Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:04, closed)

Hm.
Click, as is due.

However - "mid-afternoon"? 10:30?

I want corrected copy on my desk no later than close.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:05, closed)

Curse your eye for detail.
It's all those all-nighters lawyers work, y'see. Makes them lose all concept of morning and afternoon.
( .Yeti., Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:06, closed)

hmmmm - I almost quite like it.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:30, closed)

fucker
that being said, in the case of an eclair, a safe is a better hiding place
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:31, closed)

you massive wally

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 17:15, closed)

you
seem quite subdued this week man. Are you OK?
(yeswehavenopasties, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 6:03, closed)

dunno who you are. soz

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 4 Jun 2014, 8:04, closed)

oofff
click
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 18:38, closed)

:D YES!

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 3 Jun 2014, 19:21, closed)