This worked for me*
Sell all your stuff, including house, tv, phone, honda accord etc.

Move into a one room bedsit, preferably as a squatter.

Close your bank account and take all the money out as five pound notes. Scrunch up the fivers (but not too tightly!) one by one and use them as a comfy bed/nest in your new mono-chambered home.

Only ever eat cabbage soup and drink only mouthwash.

Any time you get any money, change it into fivers and add them to your bed/nest.

Never leave your home except to buy cabbages or mouthwash** or to go to work/sign on.

If you get bored, look at the corner of your room where your TV isn't and think of all the crap programmes you will never have to watch again and shout out with delight eg "Challenge Anneka! Ha Ha HA! I never have to watch that show EVER AGAIN!".

Even if you are on the dole, pretty soon*** you will be minted, and literally living in a pile of money.


*May not have actually worked for me.

**For hardcore savers, reduce expenditure on cabbages and mouthwash by killing yourself.

***May not actually be pretty soon if you choose to drink premium brand mouthwash. Curse you Listerine.
(Mystery_Machine, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 14:09, 3 replies)

this is very good

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 15:34, closed)

What if I can't get hold of minty mouthwash?
Will it still work?
(anonymousreality tickled your fancy on, Tue 15 Nov 2011, 20:28, closed)

You'd be of your tits on mouthwash
Its full of alcohol..Job loss would entail after you repeatedly swagger in scruffy-haired, spaz-legged, cross- eyed, puke-soaked throwing your arms around customers, groping staff and falling asleep in meetings.

But they might take your minty freshness as 'well at least she's made an effort'
(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Tue 15 Nov 2011, 23:24, closed)