My dad once convinced my brother the frozen pond was OK to walk accross
"look" he said "i did it earlier, you can see my footprints in the snow"

Unsurprisingly my brother stepped on the ice , which gave way and landed him in a very cold pond

Turns out my dad had been up earlier and made footprints with a slipper on a stick
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 14:59, 15 replies)

clicks
So wrong but it made me laugh
(mon bison powered by magnets, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 15:04, closed)

excellent
what a cunt
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 15:44, closed)

^exactly what he said
Excellent!
(TheColonel, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 16:25, closed)

That is truly prizewinning cuntery
And I wholeheartedly approve

Fucking hilarious :D
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 16:28, closed)

Genious
(what a bastard!) clicks
( hygor gyrates with animatronic emptyness, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 16:30, closed)

top draw cuntishness
notes have been taken and i will use this on my children one day. The circle of cuntishness continues.
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 16:34, closed)

Your dad is a genius.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 16:58, closed)

sorry
i just realised this is a pearoast, but last time I posted it was 2003, so i think it's OK
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 18:08, closed)

Is your name George Bailey?

(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Fri 18 Dec 2009, 20:11, closed)

no?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 14:58, closed)

hahahaha
that's world-class cuntishness. Excellent.
( kingofpork is the king of pork, Sat 19 Dec 2009, 13:23, closed)

King of Cunts
Your father is truly a God among Men
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Mon 21 Dec 2009, 22:06, closed)

I remember
my Dad telling me about one of his mates from school who fell through some ice on a local lake. Apparently when they found him, several metres from where he broke through, his fists were clenched as he drowned trying to break through the ice to the surface.
Of course, it may have been bullshit, but it meant I never went onto any frozen ponds or lakes as a kid, and wouldn't do so now, the mental image of trying to scratch or beat through a sheet of ice as my breath runs out remains as horrific today as it ever did.

My old man encouraging me or my brother onto some ice for a laugh is about as likely as him getting us to play chicken with the Inter City service to Euston, your Dad is truly a cunt.
(Rsoles, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 0:06, closed)

My dad told me the same story.
Worked too. I shall tell my kids the same when I find someone silly enough to let me impregnate them.
(bblgoose, Wed 23 Dec 2009, 11:55, closed)

it wasn't a big pond, it was the garden one
and he only got his feet wet
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 24 Dec 2009, 10:36, closed)