Toilet Rag
Innocently staggering along the road one day carrying my shopping which included a package of 24 toilet rolls, I am intercepted by an unwashed shabby young man in dreadlocks. This town - Brighton - is full of them. I recognise the look in his eye immediately. He is a missionary come to tell me the error of my ways.

"What are you doing, man?" he demands.
"Huh?"
"Don't you know that they have to cut down a thousand trees to make a roll of toilet paper..and there's the bleach and the poisons and well... everything!"
I thought for a moment this sermon was leading to a gentle request for a charitable contribution. But no. He was offering some 'green' advice.
"Why don't you do what I do? Keep an old rag beside the toilet and wipe your bottom with that? It's kinder to the earth and you'll save al that money."
(reinvented, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 5:33, 12 replies)

How many cotton plants died screaming horrible
deaths just so that he could have his shit-rag, hey?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 30 Jan 2013, 7:15, closed)

So you put your shopping down and punched his fucking lights out, right?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 9:04, closed)

Remember when
Cheryl Crow said that we should all just use one sheet per visit..

just like to see her try after a night on the Guinness followed by a curry
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:20, closed)

ahh, the 'flock of sparrows leaving a bush'.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 10:51, closed)

I like this.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 11:10, closed)

haha


Brilliant :D
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 11:26, closed)

It's easy to say things like that when you don't have a bumhole.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 11:10, closed)

that'll be Sheryl "Tagnuts" Crow, would it?

( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 16:07, closed)

A thousand trees per roll?
Fucking hell, I'm never wiping again :(
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 13:46, closed)

I'll save Badger the trouble
LOL emvee used to have dreadlocks!!111!1
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 15:06, closed)

Fucking hell man, that was years ago...
Get over it, ffs O_o
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 16:01, closed)

Not upset, Trolling The Trolls.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 30 Jan 2013, 16:08, closed)