Blended pearoast from CP
I have found in my many years on this planet that women are great. No, really, I think women are wonderful with all their inny and outy bits but they have some habits which drive me to incoherent throat-ripping fury.
Firstly - Referrals to others once you've answered their question. WTF!? I once had my ex-wife ask her father if I was "doing the right thing" when I serviced the brakes on her car.
Her father is a carpenter. He has never driven. He has never owned a car. He gets service personnel to replace knobs (the push-on types) on cookers and washing machines so he's the OBVIOUS choice to ask about my knowledge and skills.
On the other hand I'm only a qualified engineer with eleven years international experience in building, testing and rectifying gas turbine prime movers for warships and power stations. I have built five kit cars and been a backup mechanic for a semi-pro racing team. I was a registered firearms dealer for some years, working on some really expensive and complicated weaponry (servicing telescopic sights in a home-built clean room glovebox with a dry nitrogen atmosphere anyone?). But, better to ask daddy than me, because daddy knows best.
Secondly, I have found that ALL the women I have spent time with CANNOT WAIT FOR INFORMATION.
If a situation arises that necessitates waiting for information they won't shut up about it. For instance, when I was married, my ex-wife's car went wrong. I booked it into a garage (warranty claim) for the next day.
As soon as I got home she started.
"What do you think is wrong"?
"I have no idea, that's why the garage is doing the work"
"What will they do to the car"?
"I don't know, that's why the garage is doing the work, utilising their specific knowledge of the marque".
"How long will they take"?
"I don't know, that's why you've got a courtesy car all day".
"What do you think is wrong"?
FOR FUCK'S SAKE WOMAN, I'VE ANSWERED EVERY INANE FUCKING QUESTION YOU'VE ASKED WITH "I DON'T KNOW" GET THE HINT!!!!!!
And while I'm at it, how do women think men get information? I mean, I've been sitting in front of you all the time so why ask the same question? I had no idea 5 minutes ago, I've not seen another human being or used any communication device in those 5 minutes so where do you think I've got the information from, fucking telepathy?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 18:24, 11 replies)

Oh yes, questions
However many times you rephrase a question, if it remains essentially the same question, it will elicit essentially the same answer. I'm sorry if it wasn't the answer you wanted to hear, but that's because of this thing called "reality".

I've never known a man do this.
(lolwhites, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 18:32, closed)

You would have done
... if you'd ever worked in Saudi Arabia. These people have a somewhat unrealistic idea of how long it takes to gather information, engineer a solution, get a replacement part to site and get it all installed. They believe that asking for progress every few seconds will help you speed things along. If they don't like the answer, they believe that asking the same question over and over will magically change the answer.

All this along with my favourite, "You have to do it! I've already told my boss you will!"

*sigh*
(daizi last tried to escape on, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 18:57, closed)

I.T. is like this too
"How long will it take?"
"I don't know."
"Well roughly?"
"I DON'T KNOW."
"Say, less than two weeks?"
"I STILL DON'T FUCKING KNOW!"

"I already said they could have it in a week."
"You're going to look a bit of a twat then, aren't you?"
( finnbar has officially retired, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 20:59, closed)

They're pre-neantertaal so they don't count.
Luckily the emirates, as a whole, are suffering right now -- so hopefully the stone-age morons will just die out slowly.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 18:50, closed)

Clickage for ranting
and my complete agreement with the sentiment
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Mon 28 Dec 2009, 23:50, closed)

My Mum
Will ask the same question again and again. Like
Mum: "do you know when you gf will back from the family trip?"
Me: "no idea"
Mum: "will it be tomorrow?"
Me: ”don’t know didn't ask her"
Mum: ”do you know how long she will be over there?"
She stops when i get a bit shouty.

You know what really annoys me. She always asks closed questions. Like when the train I was on came to a stop between stations. Due to someone setting off the smoke detector and causing an emergency stop. Instead of asking a nice open question "why have you stopped?" she asked "is it because of the rain?" to which i answered "no"
StyX
(StyX is staring at you, yes YOU!!!, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 1:22, closed)

Clicky
so very very true.
( MrHeed, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 18:07, closed)

click
Because I agree, 100%
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 1:40, closed)

My Ex was the same
Her dad was a Captain in the Merchant Navy, therefore I couldn't possibly do anything without her fathers approval, admittedly he did know the score and just went with my idea (maybe mentioning a few tips to me privately if required).

The classic one being:
I bought a SAAB 93 a couple of years ago, and when you park it you have to put it into reverse before you can take the key out, it gets Thatcham one for that little gem, anyway she was convinced this was dangerous and that the car would roll down the hill if parked facing upwards and the handbrake failed for some reason. I tried with all my reasoning skills that this wasn't going to happen to no avail.

Her dad however pulled it of with 1 sentence: 'do you know how steep the hill would have to be to get a 1.5 tonne car that's in reverse gear to start moving backwards down a hill?' and that was it, she just accepted it and then when I protested apparently I didn't explain it properly!?

He never finished the sentence, shame really, I'd love to know the answer and he'd probably be able to work it out too, I miss the random conversations we used to have.
(Kip, Wed 30 Dec 2009, 17:25, closed)

Mrs Kite
assumes Im psychic; well put the TV or radio on and after 2 seconds will ask me "What are they on about" or "Whos that then". How the fuck should I know?
(kitescreech still here, Thu 31 Dec 2009, 19:05, closed)

Top rantage...

I will celebrate your sentiment with the adding of cider to stomach.

*clicks like a man*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 4 Jan 2010, 15:49, closed)