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This is a question My sex misconceptions

Freddy Woo writes, "aged eight, a boy from my class told me everything these was to know about sex: male prostitutes are called destitutes and women use tampons to stop men sticking their willies up them. Also, women pee out their bums, something I didn't realise was wrong until I was about 18 and my first girlfriend looked at me aghast."

Share everything - Uncle B3ta wants to know.

zero points for conception/misconception jokes

(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:54)
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Whilst a student I used to while away most of my days smoking copious amounts of weed and watching crap afternoon telly. My companion for many of these wasted days was Cat, a stray tortoiseshell who often came into the house ostensibly to keep us company, but most probably because we used to feed her copious amounts of tuna and pickled onion space raider crisps.

Cat was special in that she seemed to be completely bat-shit insane. She'd walk in and fall over randomly. She'd rub herself with a little bit too much enthusiasm on anyone and anything, was always dribbling, and her behaviour often seemed, well, sexual. It was almost like some weird bestial foreplay.

I thought I was wise to the ways of the world, especially concerning sex, but it was only when I woke up from a stoned and highly erotically charged dream on the sofa to find Cat attempting to hump my nose that I realised I knew nothing.

Yes, I was raped in the face by a cat.
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 16:30, 6 replies)
Don't ask me why
but I find this hilarious! :)
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 17:00, closed)
This is
the funniest thing I've read in a QOTW for years! Any more?
(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 22:14, closed)
That topped the anal air pressure post! I've been here a week and I haven't laughed so hard in a long time!
(, Fri 26 Sep 2008, 5:25, closed)
Yes, front page pl0x
Cat's genral behavour is likely to have something to do with teh smoking up. I think i heard something once about how cats and/or dogs aren't able to fully recover from getting stoned, so they spend their whole [considerably shortened] lives monging out.
(, Fri 26 Sep 2008, 10:28, closed)
It might have had something to do with it, but she was a bloody odd moggy from the outset.
(, Fri 26 Sep 2008, 13:45, closed)
It makes for especially interesting reading if Cat == Cat Deeley.
(, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 20:37, closed)

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