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This is a question My sex misconceptions

Freddy Woo writes, "aged eight, a boy from my class told me everything these was to know about sex: male prostitutes are called destitutes and women use tampons to stop men sticking their willies up them. Also, women pee out their bums, something I didn't realise was wrong until I was about 18 and my first girlfriend looked at me aghast."

Share everything - Uncle B3ta wants to know.

zero points for conception/misconception jokes

(, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 15:54)
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The Chickenlady Guide to Giving The Talk
This one happened only last week and was prompted by a question raised by Son #2 in the car (again)

Talk Three - Contraception and STDs

Son#2 Mum, what's a condom?

I have by now stopped asking where they heard the word and in what context - just in case they're asking about something entirely innocent - they play rugby and will be off to senior school next year. They may still harbour hopes of Father Christmas existing but they also live in the real world (some of the time).

Me It's like a balloon that's put over a man's willy when a couple are having sex. It's to prevent them having a baby or catching diseases.

I see my opportunity to cover two more topics here - birth control and STDs!

Daytime television beckons me again…I could be the new Denise on This Morning with Philip and Fern…..

Son#2 But why do people use them? Sex is for making babies, so why would you use them?

Oh my god! Catholicism is in the genes! How the hell did that happen? After all I've told these boys? How could he have this misguided belief?

Me No, no, no sweetheart. Sex isn't just for making babies. Sex is a way of communicating, people don't just do it to have babies.

Son#2 So….you've…..

Me Yes, more than once. laughs But when the time comes for you to have sex it's really important that you use condoms - not just to prevent having babies but more importantly to stop you catching or giving someone germs.
You know how if you are kissed by someone with a cold you could catch it? Well, having sex - putting your willy into someone else's body is another way to spread germs, so condoms help to prevent that.

I then recapped on the whole relationship thing and not lying to people, how it's important that regardless of the sex of their friends and partners... But we’re not gay! ....maybe not, but there's nothing wrong with it, you know.... Your friend is gay, isn't she Mum, we've met her girlfriend, they seemed normal....

Me Anyway, so when the time comes, make sure you know them really well, you like and care for them very much, don't lie to them and always use a condom.

Bloody hell, I'm good. Loose Women, here I come!

Son #1 Yeah, and buy them a drink in the pub first.

(, Fri 26 Sep 2008, 12:48, 7 replies)

Be grateful you don't have to answer questions about Rohypnol lol
(, Fri 26 Sep 2008, 12:59, closed)
They're only 10
There's still time.
(, Fri 26 Sep 2008, 13:04, closed)
Proper Gentlemen!
Sounds like the lads are pretty sharp for their years! It was FOREVER before I bought a lady a drink in a pub, and yet, I still got sexy time! So those Lads are FAAAAR ahead of the curve!

Brilliant job!
(, Fri 26 Sep 2008, 16:48, closed)
(, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 16:24, closed)
Best mom ever!
(, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 17:04, closed)
Well, to be fair
They won't get much play without buying the lady (or gentleman) a drink, or at least chatting them up a bit over one first.

Kudos to you for giving your kids a sex-positive education. I'd be happy to buy you & yours a pint if you ever came to San Francisco (the kids will have to make do with soda, US drinking laws being what they are).
(, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 5:18, closed)
If only
everyone had a mum like Chickenlady.
(, Thu 2 Oct 2008, 12:25, closed)

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