when I was about 12
I knew all about the facts of life, or so I thought. Despite being geeky and wierd as a child* I thought that one day I would be shagging for England. I was terrified of one thing though.

What happens if I need a wee when Im inside a lady?

I was terrified that halfway through sex I would need a piss so badly I would have to stop and go to the loo. I kept picturing a beautiful girl fuming at me and kicking me out of bed.

I assumed that even if he happens once, that because all women everywhere chat to one another everyone would know. And that my name would be added to some sort of sexual blacklist. You know the one I pictured in every woman's toilet, listing crap shags. This would keep me up at night and ruined many a pubescent fumble.

Now I know that its not going to happen, plus even if it did some people might like it**. I wish I had considered other things like the correct way to date a bisexual welsh girl. that would of been more useful to me.




*still am but, taller and with a beard.
** thanks internet, for you informative pop ups!!
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 11:51, 2 replies)

Have a click
Because "What if you need a wee?" was the very first question I asked when, aged 6, my Dad explained the mechanics of where babies come from.

"Trust me, you don't" was his reply.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 21:51, closed)

When I first started having sex ed
I thought you actually had to wee inside a girl to get her pregnant. I blame bad diagrams of a penis inside a womb, with long dotted lines, apparently resembling jizz.
(The Entity Remembered his login details on, Sun 28 Sep 2008, 23:38, closed)