Did the Earth move for you?
Er, no, but there was this party...

My housewarming party to be exact. The housewarming party where I ended up in hospital having knocked myself out on the bathroom wall.

I got back at around midnight, ready to resume festivities. However, in my absence it transpired that one of the party goers had decided to avail himself of the 'facilities'. Which equated to my bed. His reasoning being that I probably wouldn't have been needing it that night, what with me being laid up in hospital with a severe case of alcohol-induced vomiting and all that, complete with weeping friends at my bedside convinced that I wasn't going to make it through to the next morning. Mostly because they were tripping off their boxes at the time, but anyway.

I got back at about the same point that Darren emerged sheepishly from my room, complete with somewhat flushed female. He caught sight of me and flashed a 'fuck, I didn't think you'd be home tonight' look, and shambled past me on the stairs. I didn't think anything of it at the time, wanting to resume the attempts at serious alcohol poisoning, so went for a piss and headed back to the kitchen for more beer.

It was when I eventually went to hit the sack that I realised the reason for Darren's somewhat startled look.

Whilst the Earth hadn't moved, the same couldn't be said for my bed. Whereas that morning the bed had been firmly placed against the back wall of my bedroom, it was now a couple of feet adrift and at a slightly more jaunty angle than it had been. The bed legs weren't even on castors for fuck's sake.

There was also the small matter of one of the legs having fallen off in the process...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 28 Sep 2008, 23:29, 3 replies)

One place I used to work
sold beds among other item of furniture.
One customer ordered a load of stuff, including a bed which were duly delivered the following week.

The day after the delivery we had a phone call to say that the bed was faulty as it had fallen apart!

The delivery guys collected it, it had snapped in half. It was proper solid wood. These were not flatpack.
Neither of the couple were overly large. I can't think what they had been doing to snap a bed!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 29 Sep 2008, 0:03, closed)

Tramampoline...
As should be the case with any new bed.
( Moey, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 10:23, closed)

"Use the facilities"
I thought you meant he'd pissed in your bed!
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 1 Oct 2008, 5:43, closed)