I'm with Legless & Pooflake on this one
Having been raped (23 years ago) and cheated on over the years, I can honestly say the psychological damage from the cheating was more multi-faceted than the rape. It wasn't just the infidelity, but the lying over "business meetings" etc. that went on for months. Kissing me before he went out "with his mates" when he had already arranged to spend the night with her.

In short, KMWIP dished out just deserts. Having just read the original post, I find it particularly poignant that it was not she, but her boss who actually inserted the doctored toy.

Three cheers for KMWIP! Hip-hip......
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 10:47, 3 replies)

It's called commitment
If it is a no strings friends with benfits relationship with no implied commitment or talk of being faithful then fair enough, do what you like.

If two people have spoken about and agreed to be faithful to each other, and one of them decides to go along with that on the surface whilst secretly fucking their partner over then that is about as low as you can go. It is completely betraying the trust that has been put into them.

That said on the occasion that it has happened to me, after the initial anger I just bit my tongue, ended the relationship and wished them well, life has a funny way of sorting out the rest.

I do find it interesting that people stay together after such a betrayal though. I honestly don't know whether that makes them strong or stupid?
(barrington, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 11:08, closed)

Hear! Hear!
.
Like you, I just fade away into the background and don't take revenge - however much I want to. And I *really* want to.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 11:15, closed)

I'm finding this entire conversation very interesting
Learning a lot about different people's attitudes to cheating and revenge.

Cheating comes in many flavours. I've suffered the "I got drunk and ended up sleeping with a guy I fancied" kind.

I've never experienced the kind that KMWIP suffered- and I'm very thankful for that.

Ultimately, I'd say cheating per se is forgiveable. But when coupled with the kind of lying, deceit, betrayal of trust and so on that KMWIP went through- she deserved it. I wouldn't have gone about it the same way, but I certainly find it easier to forgive him than to forgive her.
( Thinker, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 11:10, closed)

No, it's not forgiveable...
As an adult, I have been drunk and stoned very often in my life, but I have never cheated on someone. I've had ex-girlfriends cheat on me, but that's why they are ex-girlfriends. The simple fact is that unless you are raped, there is no point in life when you "have" to have sex with someone.

To say "Oh, I was really drunk so it didn't mean anything" is bullshit pure and simple - you still chose to betray your partner in order to get laid. To say you had no control is a cop-out used by arseholes who feel no compunction in risking everything in order to fuck someone new for a quick thrill. If you feel the need to justify it, you know what you did was wrong and therefore want to find an excuse to make sure you don't get punished/dumped or so that you don't have to feel guilt.

The truth is that if you are an adult, there is no excuse for it and if you do it and get caught out, then you really deserve to be treated like the scum you are.

Having said that, I believe that love and sex are different things, that you can have a mate you shag and there is no commitment, so there is room for no-strings sex, whereas if you commit to a partner, you are saying you'll act like an adult, be faithful and be willing to take the consequences if you break that commitment.
(Chad, Tue 30 Sep 2008, 16:48, closed)

You get a click for the reply.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Tue 30 Sep 2008, 21:37, closed)