I'm not saying she was fat...
...but she didn't bat an eyelid at a bacon sandwich with six rashers of bacon in it.

It would have been three and I'd have had the other, but the combination of raging hangover and cooking bacon smell made me gag.

I made sure my flatmates were out before she left.

She's the reason I can't eat smoked bacon.
( gone, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 10:36, 16 replies)

So, you don't like bacon?
That is both profound, and sexual. Profoundly sexual, even.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 11:22, closed)

Sex ruined bacon for me.
Nah, I just don't like smoked bacon. Unsmoked is fine.
( gone, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 11:36, closed)

I like smoked bacon.
Sex, too.
Not at the same time, though.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 11:44, closed)

That'd get messy.
Wouldn't want to risk getting anything on your bacon.
( gone, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 11:47, closed)

There is a really funny little trick
which you can do, but you need to be discreet.

When you're going down on a girl, you can shove rashers of bacon up her minge, without her noticing.

I managed nearly 2 packs of unsmoked streaky one time. She just thought I was fingering her.
(username failed moderation, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 11:54, closed)

( gone, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 12:03, closed)

But you have to take them out of the packaging first,
right?
(Smale is stuffed, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 12:09, closed)

For most girls, yes.
Also, rindless is better.
(username failed moderation, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 12:15, closed)

Then pop her in the over, at 180
for how long?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 13:17, closed)

Well, I'd say
half an hour at least. Gives you time to get out of shooting range.
(username failed moderation, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 14:13, closed)

go down on a pig instead
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:44, closed)

Only 3 slices of bacon per sandwich?
You tight fucker.
(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:31, closed)

I nipped to the corner shop whilst she snored in bed.
They only had packs of six.

If it had been a pack of eight, they would of course have been of the four rasher variety.

And she'd have eaten eight.
( gone, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 15:37, closed)

Like the taste of pork did she?

(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:07, closed)

Liked the taste of everything.

( gone, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:06, closed)

Was the pork sword not enough?

(yourmumonastickwithmintsauce, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 20:12, closed)