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This is a question Shit Holidays

Camping on a dried-up river bed, we discovered when it rained during the night and half of our equipment and clothes were already most of the way to the Irish Sea why you shouldn't camp on a dried-up riverbed. Tell us about crappy holidays.

Suggested by Zuowon

(, Fri 15 Aug 2014, 10:32)
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Turning, the man fell. His body vector described a helix cut short by the hard immovability of the pavement. He heard the thud, heard the crunch, and looking down saw the tear in the linen of his trouser, edged with blood, looking strangely reminiscent of a whore's painted mouth.

He rolled out of the way with moments to spare as the car bore down on him murderously. Despite the pain, despite the fatigue which made each and every muscle in his body ache like it had been dunked in freezing water, he ran, picking a path through back alleys and pathways with no clear direction in mind.

Why he was being chased so vigorously and so dangerously he had no idea. He could only assume that his presence in the seaside town had riled the locals, or that his generic appearance had become confused with that of another, more criminal man. He burst through a gate at the end of an alley, only to see the car containing his pursuers parked squarely in front of him, one blacked out window down and the business end of a large and lethal looking gun aimed at his head.

His last thought before his brains splattered on the gate behind him were of his wife and infant son in their room at the hotel, waiting for him to return with the morning paper.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:44, 17 replies)
"His body vector described a helix" ... that's illiterate nonsense ... no offence like.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:50, closed)
it's still a million times better than quinchy-sockpuppet skagra

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:07, closed)
And whatever 'we' write is still a trillion times better than your befuddled musings.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:35, closed)
That's like saying it's better to shit yourself with a solid turd rather than a sloppy one.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:00, closed)
reading anything by either of them is like asking my eyes to choose between cancer or aids
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:41, closed)
Like normal career progression or sleeping with the boss.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:45, closed)
it's choosing between two painful and unfunny things. yours makes no sense in this context. stop fantasising about one direction and try and make sense, eh? imagine you're getting to complain and whinge about something, that might help.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:08, closed)
terrible bullying of the infantile doctor who wank fantasy cretin

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:43, closed)
that should be his sig

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:09, closed)
no offence but
You are a cunt
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:41, closed)
dunno who you are. soz

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:23, closed)
That notwithstanding, he's got a point

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:51, closed)
I'm just not sure how to take offence from a complete internet nobody
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:54, closed)
flouncing seems to be a popular choice

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:58, closed)

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:31, closed)
Notwithstanding, I've got sore knees.

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:56, closed)
A distinct lack of Honda Accord
super models and massive drugs makes this a so-so read.
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:34, closed)
How can a care bore down on anything or anyone?
Is this an empathy test or something?
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:44, closed)
Ninja edited, thank you
No Voight-Kampff here
(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:51, closed)
He only has himself to blame for choosing Blackpool in the first place, really

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:44, closed)
so make sure you put your copy of the Daily Mail in a brown paper bag before leaving the shop

(, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:18, closed)

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