Turning, the man fell. His body vector described a helix cut short by the hard immovability of the pavement. He heard the thud, heard the crunch, and looking down saw the tear in the linen of his trouser, edged with blood, looking strangely reminiscent of a whore's painted mouth.

He rolled out of the way with moments to spare as the car bore down on him murderously. Despite the pain, despite the fatigue which made each and every muscle in his body ache like it had been dunked in freezing water, he ran, picking a path through back alleys and pathways with no clear direction in mind.

Why he was being chased so vigorously and so dangerously he had no idea. He could only assume that his presence in the seaside town had riled the locals, or that his generic appearance had become confused with that of another, more criminal man. He burst through a gate at the end of an alley, only to see the car containing his pursuers parked squarely in front of him, one blacked out window down and the business end of a large and lethal looking gun aimed at his head.

His last thought before his brains splattered on the gate behind him were of his wife and infant son in their room at the hotel, waiting for him to return with the morning paper.
(SalariosDecentes was under the radar on, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:44, 17 replies)

"His body vector described a helix" ... that's illiterate nonsense ... no offence like.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 9:50, closed)

it's still a million times better than quinchy-sockpuppet skagra

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:07, closed)

And whatever 'we' write is still a trillion times better than your befuddled musings.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:35, closed)

That's like saying it's better to shit yourself with a solid turd rather than a sloppy one.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:00, closed)

true
reading anything by either of them is like asking my eyes to choose between cancer or aids
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:41, closed)

Like normal career progression or sleeping with the boss.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:45, closed)

no
it's choosing between two painful and unfunny things. yours makes no sense in this context. stop fantasising about one direction and try and make sense, eh? imagine you're getting to complain and whinge about something, that might help.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:08, closed)

terrible bullying of the infantile doctor who wank fantasy cretin

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:43, closed)

that should be his sig

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:09, closed)

no offence but
You are a cunt
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:41, closed)

dunno who you are. soz

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:23, closed)

That notwithstanding, he's got a point

( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:51, closed)

quite
I'm just not sure how to take offence from a complete internet nobody
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:54, closed)

flouncing seems to be a popular choice

( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:58, closed)

RIGHT THAT'S IT IN LEAVING FOREVER DON'T TRY TO STOP ME

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 13:31, closed)

Notwithstanding, I've got sore knees.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:56, closed)

A distinct lack of Honda Accord
super models and massive drugs makes this a so-so read.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 10:34, closed)

How can a care bore down on anything or anyone?
Is this an empathy test or something?
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:44, closed)

Ninja edited, thank you
No Voight-Kampff here
(SalariosDecentes was under the radar on, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:51, closed)

He only has himself to blame for choosing Blackpool in the first place, really

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 11:44, closed)

so make sure you put your copy of the Daily Mail in a brown paper bag before leaving the shop

(RTFM May your god go with you, Thu 21 Aug 2014, 12:18, closed)