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This is a question Shit Stories: Part Number Two

As a regular service to our readers, we've been re-opening old questions.

Once again, we want to hear your stories of shit, poo and number twos. Go on - be filthier than last time.

(, Thu 27 Mar 2008, 14:57)
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Reading on the bog
I'm sure most people have a stack of reading material by the Khazi (or is it just me?) - appropriately, most of what I read whilst on the shitter is shit.

Right now, I have the following rivetting reads gracing my crapperside table:

"Want To Play" by PJ Tracy - A low-rent cop thriller.
"A Question of Blood" by Ian Rankin - Another low-rent cop thriller.
Motorcycle News - Read it once, now use it for emergency arsewipe.
"A Beginner's Guide to C++" - Don't ask me why, and
"The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins, just because I don't like it.

There's normally a copy of The Sun floating around there too, I like to smear shit on the latest reactionary tabloid headlines.

Oh, and Auto/Bike Trader, so I can lust after vehicles I'll never be able to afford.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 14:01, 13 replies)
Oddly Enough
I came acroos a perfect book for toilet read:
Uncle John's books.
Filled with interestign yet useless facts, stories and other stuff

Which is what i read, and also, Men's health.
Although I did go through a phase of reading the manuals to particularly complex computer games or ones with a lot of backstory (TMI?)
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 14:18, closed)
.... to smear shit on the latest reactionary tabloid headlines
Yes - we believe you.

That's why we all take The Sun to the kharzi. Not to crack one off, oh no.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 14:23, closed)
Wow!
I have "the God delusion" in my crapper too. Coincidence? maybe.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 14:26, closed)
I've just moved into a flat with two male friends of mine
When I arrived, the loo had the Onion annual, the hardback version of Melancholy Death of Oysterboy, and a book on cloud shapes. Good reading material, I think.
Since moving in, I got the flu, and bought Illness Magazines (Empire, SFX, Grazia).
Grazia is now in the loo.
I did not put it there.
And I don't think it's the gay housemate who put it there.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 14:30, closed)
I see a trend here.
I've visited two bathrooms recently where The God Delusion has been stacked on the cistern. Poor Dawkins. Maybe it's a meme.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 14:31, closed)
our reading list
Calvin & Hobbes
The Broons annual
whatever magazines my mum's brought in that week (usually Chat or Best)

Real highbrow stuff, you'll agree .. or not.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 14:32, closed)
A bed and breakfast in Moffat Scotland
Had the right idea. In each of the toilets was a fully stocked bookshelf filled with a variety of fiction and educational books so you could fill your mind as you emptied your bowels
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 16:25, closed)
Tis the most peaceful place to read
We currently have "The Little Book of Calm" and "No Bliss Like This" in the crapper.
A few years ago, Argos had a marvellous gadget in their catalogue - it was a wall-mountable magazine rack / bogroll holder, all in one! I covetted that item! Alas, I was skint at the time. Come pay-day the bastards had discontinued the best ever product. Bah!
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 16:48, closed)
@Tourettes
I, too, have the Little Book of Calm in my shitter! Forgot about it as it seems to be hiding down the back of the cistern at present.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 17:01, closed)
Can I recommend

www.amazon.co.uk/Ten-Dates-Niro-Richard-Kelly/dp/0571237665
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 17:54, closed)
I have a copy of
Flushed With Pride : The Story of Thomas Crapper
by Wallace Reyburn.
(, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 19:42, closed)
Tut! Do it Properly!
In my throne-side magazine rack (yes, really, the boss decided a pile of back issues of Shooting Times, Private Eye and AutoTrader made the place look untidy) we have as of this morning...

a few Larson/Riley cartoon books for the quick download with minimal strainage, Guys & Dolls by Damon Runyon for the more serious otter-freeing session, and for Longer-Term 'Hgnnnnnnnn....plip' Ordeals I'm hacking through Tai Chi for Dummies as I search for inner tranquility while one's crimper whimpers for mercy.
(, Wed 2 Apr 2008, 11:25, closed)
my bathroom is known to one and all
as the reading room. i'm far too easily distracted by noise, so the toilet is the one place i can read in peace.
at the moment my reading material is
48 by james herbert
moving pictures
thud!
making money
lords and ladies
the last 4 are all by terry pratchett
(, Wed 2 Apr 2008, 18:39, closed)

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