A Mystery
A couple of year ago I was in my local Co-Op, It was a busy Saturday, I was in the 10-items-or-less (yes, I know, it should be "fewer") queue and I was quietly steaming as at the head of a queue, about five people in front of me, a large woman slowly loaded a very full trolley's worth onto the conveyor and then slowly loaded the scanned items back into the conveyor.

The moment for payment came - about £120 worth - but she showed no signs of paying. Just slowly loaded the trolley. And loaded and loaded.

Finally my normal patience gave way and I called out "Oh for goodness's sake. You've held us all up because you couldn't be bothered to read the ten-items-or-fewer sign, couldn't you at least have the decency to pay."

At which she went completely apeshit at me, shouting and screaming incoherent abuse. So did her husband, a big rough looking bloke. Managers appeared from all directions and eventually they were calmed down.

But they didn't pay. They left the trolley half full and stalked out to the white van they'd arrived it. The manager apologised to me, several other queuing customers thanked me for saying what they'd been thinking ... and I waited prudently for a few minutes until the van drove off before leaving.

It was only later that I worked out what I am sure was the reason for the spectacular overreaction to my snarky comment. I can't know for sure that I'm right, but I'm pretty damn certain. It also explains why they were in that queue, and why they went off without their groceries.

Any ideas?
(ubergeekian, Mon 14 May 2012, 23:40, 15 replies)

She couldn't read.
She ignored the ten-items-or-fewer sign because she couldn't read it. She went apeshit because a lot of illiterate people hate the fact that they can't read and are very sensitive to anyone who makes it obvious. And they went off without paying because, having had her fit of rage, she couldn't remember what the cashier had said and couldn't read the cash register display.

I should probably have worked it out sooner, because I'd been at a course with an adult literacy tutor just a week or two previously and he'd been telling me about the strategies illiterate people adopt to hide their problem. Did you know that it can be very expensive to be illiterate? Almost all supermarket cheap ranges emphasise their cheapness by having text-only labels, so people who can't read have to buy the dear stuff with pictures on the tins or packets.
(ubergeekian, Mon 14 May 2012, 23:40, closed)

Blimey, that had never occurred to me...

(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 14 May 2012, 23:51, closed)

Or they were fucking batshit mental.

( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Mon 14 May 2012, 23:53, closed)

That may well have been the underlying reason.
When your brain is full of screaming ferrets there can't be much room for "reading" and "writing" and "nuclear physics".
(ubergeekian, Tue 15 May 2012, 0:20, closed)

"a lot of illiterate people hate the fact that they can't rad"

/sniggers
(Twangy Rubber, Mon 14 May 2012, 23:55, closed)

I hate it when people point out
that I can't right.
(ubergeekian, Tue 15 May 2012, 0:18, closed)

*cunt wright*

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 15 May 2012, 8:19, closed)

right
(nordelius, Tue 15 May 2012, 13:26, closed)

Is that a less-formal term for a gynecologist?
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 15 May 2012, 16:09, closed)

^Oh bravo^
also known as a twatsmith of course.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Tue 15 May 2012, 18:53, closed)

pff... next time I'm in a hospital, I'm rebranding "Obstetrics and Gynecology" as "The Twatforge".
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 15 May 2012, 20:36, closed)

The truth
Their accomplice was busy scooting out with a trolley load of goodies whilst they provided the necessary diversion, simples!
(Classic Ray, Tue 15 May 2012, 0:14, closed)

Unlikely.
Most people who reach adulthood without learning to read or write properly have *some* reading ability. Even if they don't, they get by quite well in these situations - and they manage that by compensating in other ways. You'd be surprised at the number of incredibly intelligent, elderly customers I've dealt with who never learned to read or write properly, yet I only ever found out when it came them completing a claim form. Because you learn to deal with the problem by being crafty, and hiding it well...not by the level of rage displayed here.

No. The real explanation is simple. They were going to leg it with the trolley - hence them loading it before paying. The van was waiting, and would probably have the trolley literally launched into it as they legged it. Either that, or they were the distraction as someone else went on the rob. It's an old trick.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 15 May 2012, 1:04, closed)

Nope.
Not a chance. Sorry, but you would have to know the geography of the shop and the car park to see how unlikely that is. Plus it doesn't explain the loss of temper.
(ubergeekian, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:50, closed)

That would be the distraction wouldn't it?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 15 May 2012, 11:21, closed)

They were on the rob.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 15 May 2012, 1:11, closed)

I live in a village with a Co-Op store
There's also a permanent traveller's site* about two miles away. If you catch the timing right when there's two or three of the traveller women in the store you'll hear them asking the staff 'Is this on special offer? when there's big yellow stickers on the items that say 'Special offer'!
They can't read yet they manage to have driving licences for their newish Shoguns and Dodge Rams.

*Yeah, I know - oxymoron.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 15 May 2012, 8:27, closed)

Indeed
The pair I encountered were also travellers.
(ubergeekian, Tue 15 May 2012, 9:51, closed)

What makes you think they bothered to get driving licenses?

EDIT: I'm also with the 'on the rob' camp. Not necessarily because they are pikeys, mind.
( Noo_Noo Is now 'BeerElf Jnr', I guess :), Tue 15 May 2012, 12:10, closed)

Can't read or write,
but just you try and short-change the fuckers.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 15 May 2012, 10:46, closed)