Bus crotch mis-hap
I was once attempting to alight from an Edinburgh double decker bus with a couple of mates. We'd been on the upper deck and I was the first to go down the stairs.

The bus will still in motion as I got to the bottom. The exit door was in the middle of the bus and there was a distance of perhaps a yard and a half that had to be negotiated between letting go of the rail on the stairs and grabbing the rail at the door.

As soon as I let go of the stair rail the bus driver slammed on the brakes as a parked car pulled out in front of us without warning. This sent me flying up towards the front of the bus, head first RIGHT into the crotch of a young lady. It's quite tricky to remain cool when you have your face wedged into an attractive girl's mimsy and a crowded bus is collectively laughing it's tits off at you.

20 years later, it still periodically gets brought up by my mates. Cunts.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 9 Oct 2014, 15:16, 16 replies)

This actually sounds like an excellent result.
Did you inhale?
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 9 Oct 2014, 15:21, closed)

It would have been an excellent result had I got her phone number.
However extracting myself from her somewhat fragrant nether regions was my priority at the time. Curses.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 9 Oct 2014, 15:30, closed)

I'd start with
"I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did!"
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 9 Oct 2014, 15:46, closed)

Good thinking.
Looks like I'll have to speak to that fuckwit Skagra to borrow his Tardis.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 9 Oct 2014, 15:59, closed)

his her.
Do try to keep up.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 9 Oct 2014, 19:50, closed)

I'll take your word for it, I don't read his posts.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 10 Oct 2014, 9:27, closed)

*AB's link to the escalator/crotch story here*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 9 Oct 2014, 15:32, closed)

with added links
b3ta.com/questions/publicnudity/post2328595
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 9 Oct 2014, 17:47, closed)

laughing it is tits off

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 9 Oct 2014, 22:21, closed)

"It has", you fucking ileterate mung.

(SlantedScience, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 2:54, closed)