Pop goes the cherry...
I've done several odd things over the years in my sleep.

When I was about 15 I went to get my girlfriend out of the room where my parents were guarding her to stop me shagging her. I knew I had to be quiet as they would be furious if they caught me. As I opened the door and tried to make her out in the gloom I heard my dad say "are you ok?" - Shit! I'd been caught , but maybe I could bluff my way out of it... "I can't sleep" I said feeling proud of my cunning. "er - OK. Just go back to bed" he said. I went back to my room cursing them all the way for spoiling my fun. As my head hit the pillow I thought "You wanker, you are sleepwalking."
Much amusement followed the next morning. I lied about what I'd been looking for though. Wouldn't have found her anyway - she was 300 miles away! And if I had found her, she wouldn't have shagged me - she was very holy at the time... what a waste!

A few years later, at college, I was woken up by hammering on the door of the flat - when I dressed and looked out two old dears were there asking if I knew who the blanket in the middle of the corridor belonged to. I knew immediately it was mine, but pretended I didn't. As I has been sleeping bollock naked, I wonder to this day who saw what...

A few years ago I woke up firmly convinced that I'd watched a documentary film about the band UB40 running a "Khmer Rouge" type of psycho army out in the bush of some eastern country. I was absolutely indignant at the idea of these rich rock stars acting like loonies. How Dare They!!!
I had to watch the news for about an hour before I managed to convince myself it had all been a dream... but why the FUCK would I pick UB40???

Length - average, but it's the girth that gets em squealing.
(Nazmaonksuc, Fri 24 Aug 2007, 9:42, Reply)