Lush
I was Christmas shopping in town and popped into Lush (VERY fragrant soap shop - bath bombs etc) to buy my Mum some smellies as a gift.

Having drank a lot of Guinness and eaten 'dirty food' the night before, my bowels were in a bit of a state and I inadvertently emitted a 'silent but violent' guff while browsing the gift boxes.

Within moments, I heard someone shout, "What the fuck is THAT?" and almost immediately another voice shouted, "JESUS CHRIST!".

People started backing away from me like a terrified demented mob.

The reason I'm so pleased about that fart is that you can smell Lush from 2 streets away and my fart cut through all that soapy scent like a knife through butter :D
(l0bst3r, Fri 17 Jan 2014, 14:05, 8 replies)

That is genuinely impressive.
Lush is so soapy you feel you wont be able to get the clean off for weeks.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 17 Jan 2014, 14:14, closed)

good
those shops make my eyeballs itch
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 17 Jan 2014, 14:15, closed)

Give this rectum a trophy

( Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Fri 17 Jan 2014, 14:48, closed)

I'll have one with glitter, please.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 17 Jan 2014, 15:01, closed)

Always impressive when it actually gets an acknowledgement rather than just a wrinkled nose
www.b3ta.com/questions/worstjourneyintheworld/post61037
( Ghoti Fingers, Fri 17 Jan 2014, 15:06, closed)

Awesome.
Extra points if the acknowledgement is in a foreign language.

My brother and I as teenagers, on some holiday to Paris, both found we had eaten some astonishingly effervescent French dinner.
Thus began a competition of guff-one-upmanship, whereby we endeavoured to guff on, in and at, every major landmark in the city.

I'm still proud to have elicited a "Mon dieu!" from under the breath of a Frenchman, trapped as we all ascended the Eiffel tower.

(I have farted at: the Louvre, L'Arc de Triomphe, Place de la Concorde, the Obelisk of Luxor, and along practically every step of the Champs-Élysées... finishing off my holiday with a light gust at Gare du Nord. That's right... I'm sophisticated.)
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 17 Jan 2014, 15:31, closed)

Have a click sir!
Out-guffing Lush deserves a medal.
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Sat 18 Jan 2014, 10:36, closed)

Anyone who can out pollute Lush
Deserves a medal, and possibly a cork
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Sat 18 Jan 2014, 15:06, closed)