Bad Smells"I once left the world's stinkiest guff in a lift before sending it down to a group of Germans, all bustling to be first in the doors upon its arrival," giggles Boarders. Tell us your stories involving farts, noxious gasses and unpleasant smells.
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chthonic, Fri 17 Jan 2014, 11:56)
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my mate used to light his farts and we all thought this was well funnybut another mate said that it was proper dangerous because the fire can get back inside your anus and ignite all the methane in your gut, is he bullshitting?
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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:42,
24 replies)
jasper carrott told a story about thismany years ago. seems his mate got a bad case of blowback and singed his piece good and proper
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:44,
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ewww, grossi hate jasper carrott
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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 13:56,
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that's because he's got a face like an overstretched scrotum(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:00,
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Which is ironic, actually,because I've got a scrotum that looks like Jasper Carrot's face.
No hang on.
Not Jasper Carrot.
Keith Richard's.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:13, closed)
you should exhibit that(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:15,
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I was going to photoshop Keith's face onto a pair of bollocks.But a Google image search for both 'testicles' and 'scrotum' has put me right off.
Fucks sake.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 19:23, closed)
It's just like that bit in Die Hard 2(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:01,
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i don't remember bruce willis trying to light his farts(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:16,
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"They're using the farts to see! They're using the fucking farts to see!"(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 16:08,
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"yippee-ki-yay, motherfarter!"(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 16:24,
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I can't see there being enough oxygen in there to sustain burning, or the opening being wide enough to admit a flame - it'd be like lighting the gas ring and the flame disappearing down the gas pipe to blow up the depot...
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 14:57, closed)
so, my mate is bullshitting yeah?(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:11,
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I think so
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:16, closed)
Prove it by counter exampleGet him to sit on the outlet from a cannister of oxygen and pump him up. That should light beautifully.
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pineapplecharm D d M Y, H:i, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:37,
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I'll disappear down *your* gaspipe and blow up *your* depot in a minute if you're not careful, young man.(
sm.pl.crt.rs I don't fucking know, do I?, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:36,
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Your username is uniquely well-suited to posting that particular comment. Well done
(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 15:39, closed)
also, there's generally not enough methane in there to be ignited(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 20:53,
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Maybe you could prop open his anusand drop a match in?
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 16:05,
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And after that, drop a duck in and see if its quack echos?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 16:11,
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cul de canard(, Mon 20 Jan 2014, 17:02, closed)
It's bollocks,it's mainly hydrogen that's in there.
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social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Tue 21 Jan 2014, 19:28,
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