bindun?
My granddad smoked unfiltered woodbines his whole life - 60 a day. He started when he was 3 and was still smoking them at the time of his death... at the age of 129! All this nonsense about cigarettes being bad for you - there's no proof! My uncle smoked 20 a day while he was in the womb, then he started work in a pub aged 4, smoking a pipe in addition to breathing in the fumes of a hundred other people. And he lived until he was 99, wining an Olympic gold for the 100-metres hurdles aged 78. He could hold his breath for 20 minutes and was strong as an ox. Great uncle Harold not only smoked, but was a laudanum addict and drank 4 bottles of spirits each day. He injected pharmaceutical nicotine into his aorta for breakfast and ate cholesterol sandwiches washed down with hydrogenated vegetable oil. And he lived until he was 4000 years old. But my grandmother took vitamins every day, drank blueberry smoothies and did at least 30 minutes of aerobic activity daily. She was a fitness instructor and climbed Everest with her arms and legs tied behind her back. And she DIED aged 34 because a plummeting pheasant landed on her head, breaking her neck. Enough of this fitness nonsense, I say! Any one of us could suffer a muscle spasm while pouring boiling water and gush the scalding liquid into our eyes or on our baby. While chopping onions, any one of us could suffer a psychotic episode and slaughter all of our extended family. Accidents happen, and inhaling toxins is the least of our day-to-day worries. My cousin Bob was killed when a splinter from a fencepost he was fixing turned out to have been dipped in cobra venom. He was dead in 30 seconds - whereas my brother-in-law Miroslav survived being mauled by a bear because he was smoking crack ...etc etc etc
(frankspencer, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:42, 3 replies)

Best. Post. Ever.
(Possibly)

*clickety-click*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:49, closed)

It's true
Studies funded by ciggarette companies have shown that smoking crack is scientifically proven to protect against bear maulings.

Gotta love the crack.
( Bazongaloid, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 14:57, closed)

@Enzyme
ever? sheesh! How quickly you forget last Wednesday.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 17:44, closed)