I saw quite an awesome real-life meltdown on Saturday night
Coming back through Archway on the night bus, I was with a couple of ladies on the back seat, chatting to a couple we had just met. We had pizza, which we shared with them. As the bus stopped and everyone had to get off, this screamingly camp guy started shouting something like "Well, I've learned one thing this journey, I hate American girls!" at us. So after we pointed out that there were no Americans present and the word he was probably looking for was "Canadian", he went into a complete spazz-out and started pushing my friend, screaming at the top of his lungs, crying and spitting in her face. Which would probably have been a bit frightening if he hadn't been camper than the Volkswagen Type 2.

Anyway, after he'd bawled incoherently at us for a while, stamping his little feet and getting himself into a right tizzy, we got bored and wandered off to grab a beer from the 24 hour offie for the walk home. We passed him on the way back, where he had his phone out, animatedly relating the incident to someone who was evidently delighted to hear his hysterical whining at 2am.

It was at this point that I was sorely tempted to ask if he'd ever posted online under the username "Rory Lyon".
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 11:55, 24 replies)

Homophobe.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 13:40, closed)

That would imply that at some point I was frightened of the tubby, bleach-blond prick

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:10, closed)

You're just very NOT AT ALL ANGRY with him, online instead.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 16:20, closed)

Ah yes, the classic troll gambit of trying to point out HOW UPSET the other person is
Be a dear and save it for someone who cares, willya?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 16:26, closed)

Ah yes, the classic upset spastic gambit of trying to point out HOW MUCH YOU DON'T CARE.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 16:32, closed)

I know you're retarded, but did you miss the part of the story where we wandered off and left him to it?
I didn't care much at the time, why would I care now? In either instance I found his antics vaguely amusing and more than a little ridiculous, but it's not like I'm losing sleep over the drunken rantings of a frustrated homosexual or anything.

Your trolling is as transparent as it is pathetic.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:03, closed)

Keep replying, I'm almost there.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:10, closed)

*spluffs on chin*
*moans - "Oh, not again."*
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 26 Jun 2013, 7:32, closed)

You really are beginning to look like a great big chin fetishist now.

(Frank Snow, Wed 26 Jun 2013, 11:45, closed)

I wonder how many thousand words he'll need to explain exactly how little he cares this week.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:10, closed)

He's already written at least twice as much as I have. He's not very efficient at this internet upset business.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:23, closed)

If I ever reach my one hundred and nine thousand, one hundred and twenty-ninth post on here, I'll definitely use it to imply that other people are a little bit too verbose.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Wed 26 Jun 2013, 1:53, closed)

Oh no. There it is.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 16:44, closed)

what size feet did he have?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 14:22, closed)

'here, girls, have some of this pizza.
It's not drugged or anything honest. Tell me, what are your views on Star Wars Lego?'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 15:29, closed)

His view of Stars Wars Lego is mainly up the gash

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 25 Jun 2013, 16:59, closed)

They're more like cracked blisters than gashes.
Cracked blisters between bent and malnourished twig thighs blotted with skag bruises.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:08, closed)

Well that's the rest of the evening booked up, then.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 17:21, closed)

I've nothing against emvee, or his tumblr,
but I thought this was particularly funny.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 18:05, closed)

Is this the same person who's spoofing the ring of ire account.
It's quite convincing but needs more hilariously misplaced self confidence.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 25 Jun 2013, 16:43, closed)

Your flaw -
Rory would have to accompanied by a carer at 0200.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 26 Jun 2013, 7:29, closed)

at 0200
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 27 Jun 2013, 9:46, closed)

Well if you go round telling strangers that
Canada is not in America it's bound to upset them.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 26 Jun 2013, 11:49, closed)

good old London
without it, the rest of the nation would have nowhere to dump their fuck-ups
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 26 Jun 2013, 22:12, closed)