Holidays
A few years ago, I was on holiday down in Devon, when I met a girl on the beach. She was slim, with brown, slightly curly hair, and big, brown eyes. She was beautiful. We got on really well, it transpired that her name was Olivia, and she worked locally in a fishmongers which sold all the local produce from the fishing boats. Luckilly, her personal hygene was excellent, so we entered into a relationship, despite the knowledge that I would be leaving in a few weeks (having already extended my stay).

Unfortunately, it was all too soon time for me to get back to Uni, so we waved goodbye, and promised to keep in touch on Facebook - the warmth from her body and the smoothness of her skin from that final hug being the most treasured memory from that holiday.

On arrival back at Uni, I got back into the swing of things - lots of drinking (and the associated attempting to stop one of my friends from urinating on cash machines) mixed in with the odd bit of work. One night though, I made possibly the stupidest mistake of my life. Whilst very drunk, I pulled a girl named Sophie - she was fairly attractive (not a patch on Olivia though), but had a fantastic personality. We started seeing each other more and more, though I tried my hardest to stay in touch with Olivia, finally being asked to stay with her for a few months. I accepted, with the intention of ending things with Sophie.

When I got down to Devon, it transpired that Olivia had not been able to get time off work, so I went with her most days - helping out with odd bits: filliting fish (I'm rather handy with knives), reparing lobster pots and nets. On fatefull evening, Olivia and I were sat mending one of the nets used to catch the local lobsters in the sunset. It was beautiful, and I got lost in myself. "Sophie..." I started. Stopping immediately after realising what I said, just in time to see the tears well up in Olivia's beautiful brown eyes. "I knew it..." she said, sadly.

I couldn't believe I'd made such a mistake... a So, shell net working gaffe indeed.
(Merrep, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:29, 4 replies)

Jesus.....
( darth munki is flipping livid, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:34, closed)

fuck
it is looking grim
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 13:36, closed)

indeed
...but still the best pun yet.
(dchurch bah, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:42, closed)

Dammit, fooled to the end
all of that crap about urinating on cash machines threw me off guard. Oh well, fool me once shame on you, fool me six or seven times shame on me.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 15:50, closed)