Butterface
This was just last weekend.

I'm idly tapping away at the computer when I get a text from my drinking buddy Neil.

"I'm in The Lion with Karen if you fancy a pint"

"Who's Karen?", I replied.

"Girl from work. She's sound but a butterface"

"What on Earth is a butterface?"

"Everything about her's nice but her face. Now - are you coming or not?"

I'm very childish and this new phrase filled me with glee. So much so that before going out I changed my Facebook status to "Jimlad is off for a pint with Neil and a butterface", and off I went.

It turned into a great evening and we ended up doing a pub crawl, club and curryhouse. Karen was lovely and, whilst never likely to grace the pages of Vogue, certainly not deserving of the 'butterface' branding.

Being the geek that I am I was straight on the computer when I got in and sure enough there's Karen amongst Neil's Facebook friends list. Friend request sent, off to bed.

Next afternoon and back online, Karen's accepted my friend request. "Yays!", think I and attend to a few other notifications before getting back to her. But hold on, Karen has also wrote on my wall.

"Hey Jimlad! Great night last night. But what's a butterface?"

Shit. The status update.

She deleted both me and Neil shortly afterward. Oops.
(R. Jimlad twitter.com/sirmarkymark, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 18:36, 14 replies)

Heh.
At least you didn't call her a Monet. (looks better from a distance)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 12 Sep 2008, 18:46, closed)

Yoink!
I'm stealing that one for future use.
(R. Jimlad twitter.com/sirmarkymark, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 18:53, closed)

My son's friend tried using that one
but got confused and called her a Renoir or something.

Better than calling her a Picasso, though! o_O
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 12 Sep 2008, 18:57, closed)

now that
is true class.
(Marmoset Bored bored bored of cnuting revision..., Tue 16 Sep 2008, 16:29, closed)

bobfoc:
body off Baywatch, face off Crimewatch

(thank you Viz)
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 19:57, closed)

I always liked
Nice from far, but far from nice.
( Moey, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 19:58, closed)

Or
2 at 10 is 10 at 2.

(a reference to beer goggles as the night progresses, in case that's a little obscure.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 12 Sep 2008, 20:06, closed)

Loon
There's also 10 to 2; as in the one you go for just before the club shuts at 2.

Beer goggles certainly cloud any judgement that's left at that point.
( Moey, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 20:23, closed)

Neil calls
the '10 to 2' last-chance saloon-girl "half-price taxi fare".

Do girls have similar terms for blokes?
(R. Jimlad twitter.com/sirmarkymark, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 20:38, closed)

I'd say
they probably work both ways.
( Moey, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 20:49, closed)

There must be some
bloke-specific ones though.

Buttisface doesn't make sense and BOBFOC for a bloke suggests a swarthy face with a body slightly too wobbly and hairy to be running about in tiny shorts. Oh, wait... that *is* The Hoff.
(R. Jimlad twitter.com/sirmarkymark, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 21:05, closed)

The odds are good
but the goods are odd.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 12 Sep 2008, 21:15, closed)

Kronenburg
16 from the back, 64 from the front
(Halfy By light alone, Sat 13 Sep 2008, 9:03, closed)

NAFY
Nice at fifty yards.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 16 Sep 2008, 10:45, closed)