working class pride
When I was a mere lad, my mum ran a creche. It was no ordinary creche, but one at a private hospital specialising in discreet plastic surgery for rich people. All the kids were children of doctors, apart from me and my sister.

The most obnoxious were the five sons of the hospital owners - all unspeakably haughty little shits attending the best private educational establishments of Sheffield. Three of them went on to Eton, and the other two to Rugby. I remember one of them walking round the hospital with a football and, on being challenged, saying: "Do you know who I am? I can have you sacked!" He was nine.

Funny thing though. A couple of decades later, my dad met up with their parents and discovered that despite the tens of thousands spent on their education, none of the kids had done as well at school as I had. Indeed, my qualifications made them look like a bunch of retards.

My first novel is published in May 2009, and it's all the sweeter coming from a background of state-comprehensive glue-sniffing teenage pregnancy.
(frankspencer, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:09, 8 replies)

Did you
take the opportunity to knock his football out of his hands, and when he bent down to pick it up grab his hips and thrust your throbbing manhood deep inside his chocolate love tunnel?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:21, closed)

er
no
(frankspencer, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:26, closed)

Well then
this story doesn't deserve a click due to lack of porn. But well done on getting your book published.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:29, closed)

What al said
this really is your most unrealistic post yet, frank. Your standards are slipping...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 10 Oct 2008, 9:50, closed)

This post is ludicrous
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:01, closed)

Nice
try, but you're not fooling me again, obvious fake.
(Hippo_of_Doom, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 10:39, closed)

.
Well done on getting your book published.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 11:38, closed)

Come on....
...tell us what it's going to be called!

...and well done, by the way.
(dchurch bah, Fri 10 Oct 2008, 16:47, closed)