Fat Barry
Fat Barry was 2 things:

1. Fat
2. Called Barry

So far so good. We met him in our first year at uni. He'd just turned 18, and his simpering parents had bought him a brand new car. How sweet.

We eventually ended up sharing a flat with him. We put aside his slightly eccentric behaviour (imagine the brains of Roger Irrelevant and the looks of Felix and His Amazing Underpants*) as first and foremost, he had a car.

He gave us a lift to lectures and, as he came from the same part of the world as us, we got a lift most of the way home at weekends.

But as time went on, Barry became more unhinged. He started charging us petrol money - for journeys that he would be taking anyway. A bit pish really as he had no car costs to worry about - the car payments, tax, insurance, servicing were all taken care of by mummy and daddy, and I'm fairly sure they paid for his petrol anyway. All on top of his allowance. The miserable shitebag.

He started invited his dubious friends to stay over. They all had major personality disorders like being unable to hold a conversation without grunting, and being unable to stay in someone else's flat without stealing from them.

Barry was an only child and desperately craved attention. He seemed to think that he could get away with anything he wanted - having his junkie pals stay for weeks on end, not cleaning up after himself, not buying his share of the bog paper - the usual behaviour of a spoilt brat away from his mother's apron strings for the first time.

Things came to a head when his junkie mates threatened to stab a fellow flat mate. We finally gave him an ultimatum - fuck off, or um..ah..well...just fuck off anyway.

He did, fully expecting us to have to stump up for his portion of the bills for the rest of term. How wrong he was. He was hardly at the foot of the stairs by the time we had his bed fumigated and another mate moved in.

Tough luck fatty. I haven't seem him in nearly 20 years - and I'm not usually one to bear a grudge - but genuinely I hope he's had a shit life. I watch My Name Is Earl, so I fully expect Karma to do it's thing on that one.

*Apologies for the aging Viz reference. Yes, I am that old.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 13 Oct 2008, 15:57, 8 replies)

Viz-a-viz
"*Apologies for the aging Viz reference. Yes, I am that old."

That's OK - I was starting to feel right at home with you

Baz
(Biff..., Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:31, closed)

Baz?
As in *gulps* Barry? :-o
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 13 Oct 2008, 16:39, closed)

In fairness
you should have offered petrol money. Whether he's making the journey or not it's only right to at least offer.
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 17:50, closed)

?
Due to the fact that I can't drive and therefore don't own a car, I may be missing the point here, but, why?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 18:09, closed)

...
Would you get a free ride on a bus, just because he is 'going that way'?

It's just like bringing a bottle of wine or a few beers to a friend who has made dinner - he'd have made it anyway; it's just a way of showing gratitude in my experience.
(insert username here, Mon 13 Oct 2008, 19:16, closed)

petrol money
is fair enough, it does cost more to transport extra weight.
(knackerz is skinning up, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 9:34, closed)

petrol money
Its fair enough to ask for petrol money. I sometimes do. People usually offer whether or not i'm going that way anyway Its just a way of sharing the cost of the journey.
(deaglun, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 10:00, closed)

Apologies for the aging Viz reference
*Clicks for the aging Viz reference*
(Heggy, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 14:53, closed)