‘Here’s the science’…

I read ‘Sugar Tits’ post earlier on the fact that sometimes people can ‘surprise you’…and I don’t mean in the "It’s not rape if you say ‘surprise’ first" kind of way...I mean that sometimes your social status, wealth and education can have vastly varying effects on your personality.

In other words: some people are just arseholes no matter how much cash they have.

I was reminded of a fascinating article called ‘Cognitive organisms and response to addiction from the genome’ by a German cytogeneticist called Dr Ulrich Wolf (1933- ). It details sporadic deformities in the genetic make-up of humans and some experimentation work done on what makes them decent folk or….well…total spacktacklers. It appears that this issue has once again raised the ‘Nature Vs Nurture’ argument in a big way.

For example, "heritability," a statistical construct that estimates the amount of variation in a population that is attributable to genetic factors, or any type of brain injury can turn a polite, mild-mannered person into a foul-mouthed, aggressive boor, and we routinely modify the behavioral manifestations of mental illnesses with drugs that alter brain chemistry. More recently, geneticists have created or extinguished specific behaviours in rats — ranging from nurturing of pups to continuous circling in a strain called "twirler"— by inserting or disabling specific genes.

It won’t surprise any of you lovely ladyfolk to know that the main discovered molecular flaw that creates ‘spoilt’ behaviour is based in the Male of the species.

Yep…like you knew all along…it’s all the man’s fault

What makes it even more interesting is that after further investigation I discovered that Dr Wolf is quite an eccentric fellow himself. Every day he turns up for work in full ‘cowboy’ gear – from the whopping great Stetson on his head to the spinny-round-sharp-dangly-things attached to his authentic boots. What the cumsponges is that about?

But now the good news. Dr Wolf believes that he has recently discovered a chemical that has been found to have the regressive effect on this foulest of personality traits…and like most of the greatest scientific discoveries, it happened by accident. In his laboratory there was a spillage involving a male lab-rat with defective (re: dysfunctional) DNA, and a mixture of oil and metal polish that The Doctor used to keep the spiked rowels on his boots spinning and to clean his ‘sheriff’s badge’!

He’s about to publish a paper on the subject called: ‘Definitive Organic Cognition Manipulation based on Heredity Versus Environment’...but apparently its current working title is…‘Spur-oiled Boy Rats’

(For all decent folk…when the word ‘sorry’ is just not enough…the ‘Ignore’ button is the one between the time and ‘Reply’)

But here’s fun – a load of the ‘clever’ bits of this post are accurate and genuinely fascinating (in other words, cock-all to do with me). Get some research and knowledge in you, kids…you know you want to…

Everyone…TO THE LIBRARY!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 9:37, 14 replies)

Proper lol
This is possibly your best post yet.
*clicks like a dolphin*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 9:50, closed)

I think I love you
*hero worships*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 9:57, closed)

I'm going to hurt you.
Then I'm going to hurt you some more.
( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 9:58, closed)

excellent work
you wanker (not reaaaaally)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 10:06, closed)

Have a light spang
and 9.7 out of 10 for effort and ingenuity.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 10:11, closed)

Pooflake, oh Pooflake.
Finished that due diligence job early then? Or is it the gout that's spurring (sorry!) you on to the dizzy heights of punnage you've recently achieved?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 10:21, closed)

"Finished that due diligence job early then?"

Well, if by that you mean 'Have I palmed it all off to some other poor unfortunate fucker?' Then yes...yes I have :)

As for the gout...I went to the quack on Monday - He said the maximum body capacity for Uric Acid was '350' (what measurement that is I haven't got a Scooby)

The level in my blood sample was 592.

Which kind of explains why I've been dragging my hideous rotting carcass around for the last few months like the bastard lovechild of Quasimodo and Janet Street Porter.

But if that wasn't shocking enough for the poor Doc...he then asked me my weekly alcomahol intake.

I said: "About 50 something"

Doc: "Bloody Hellfire! - 50 units?"

Me: "No...50 pints...of Cider...oh, and loads of wine too, but it's hard to measure that because I drink it by the three litre box"

Doc: "Mmmf?!?!??"

On the plus side, soon afterwards I learned lots of Indian swearwords :)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 10:33, closed)

50 PINTS?!?!?!?!
Bloody hell - you must pee pure alcohol!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 10:36, closed)

It'll be more this week...

There's an England game on tonight...It takes quite a few bevvies to drown my sorrows after the usual piss-poor displays.

yay for working from home tomorrow!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 10:42, closed)

Please oh please
use a lighter to comfirm?
(Que?, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 12:15, closed)

you utter utter
lovely fella
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 11:14, closed)

Yes!
This made me choke on juice.
Never before has my computor been in such danger from nasaly regurgitated juice before!
*click*
(Sir Clitherington Smythe offers him yourself., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 11:56, closed)

Pooflake,
with this science you are really spoiling us.



*Clickalises*
( Moey, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 12:29, closed)

i never thought it possible, but you get worse as you get older!
also, libraries are great, i used to go to my local library all the time. nobody looks for you in a library when you're bunking off school ;)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 22:52, closed)