Give Us A Push
.
I was so spoilt as a kid that it carried over into my life as an adult. But I did try to change.

So one night me and Missus Legless were about to go to bed when the doorbell rang. WTF? it was 11.30 and pissing down with rain. So I opened the door.

"Sorry to bother you but could you possibly give me a push?" asked the fresh-faced young man in front of me.

"Fuck off!" I retorted and slammed the door in his face.

Missus Legless said:"That was a bit harsh. Can you remember when we first met and we broke down in the middle of Buttfuck-NoWhere? In a storm? And that nice farmer got our car going again? Go help that poor guy out"

So, knowing that karma catches up with you, I pulled on a heavy coat and went out to give the guy a hand.

"Hello? Where are you?" I called out.

"Over here - on the swing...."





Cheers
Thank you very much. I'll be under the pier all week...
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 13:11, 8 replies)

I do like
this joke.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 13:12, closed)

me too!
clicks
(mon bison powered by magnets, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 13:37, closed)

*clicks*
This is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about earlier.

Hats off to you, Mr Legless.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 14:11, closed)

Well done
for reminding me of that old joke
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 14:48, closed)

Legless' best joke
is the one about the faith healer, the cripple and the guy with a speech impediment... but it doesn't really translate to the written word. You have to be told it.

By Legless.

In the pub.

And after a few pints.

Every time tourette's tries to tell it she can't get to the punch line for giggling like a loon.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 15:14, closed)

Can you try
and recreate this in Edinburgh? I'm very curious about the joke now.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 15:29, closed)

Will try to remember!
Promise.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 16 Oct 2008, 16:00, closed)

Pffffffffffffffffffttttttttttt!
I bastard love this joke! Got me giggling like a girl in the office. People are looking at me funny...
Have a click sir!
(Ghostlight, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 15:37, closed)