I once...
Had a friend called Chris Kerr, we used to get on really well, I'd stay over his at weekends, we'd go out and play football, make bases, all the kinds of things you do when you're a kid.

His mum was always grateful that I was his friend, as he had a genetic disease which made him abnormally tall, although I never was his friend because of charity, he was a good bloke.

Fast forward 8 years to when we were both 18, we were running to his house from the local park to meet up with some other friend we'd acquired over the years, he tripped over a kerb stone and fell into the path of an oncoming car, he was promptly taken to hospital and was in a coma for 3 weeks, I stayed with him a few nights, talked to him, did everything I could to try and make my dear friend wake up. but we finally realised he wouldn't pull through so his parents decided to let him rest in peace. My best friends life ended by turning off a machine.

The funeral arrangements were made, however, we had a problem, due to his genetic condition we couldn't fit him in a standard sized coffin. During the years I had decided I would like to be a carpenter, so the parents turned to me to fashion him a coffin.

I was flattered and set about work straight away, thinking of the best tribute I could pay to my compadre.

Yes, it was me who was to decide how best to store Kerr.
(WittyUsernameHere, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 17:37, 10 replies)

Ouch
I was just thinking "how sad"... then I got to the punchline. Such a shame there isn't a "I fucking hate this" button! Looks like i
I'll have to click the I like this one instead ;-)
(cfvp, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 18:48, closed)

:)
Dunno whether to cry or groan or laugh. Good work!
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 18:48, closed)

Haha.
Have a click.

Should have been called Wayne tho...
(Guilt wants to get in your moist confines, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 19:06, closed)

LOL
Did use to know a Wayne King actually... Hmmm :D
(WittyUsernameHere, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 0:13, closed)

I used to know
a guy called Neil Ford.

And he changed his name to that.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 7:27, closed)

It's a bit early for puns
But you tickled my brain anyway
(Jugular, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 14:57, closed)

I couldn't...
...hold onto that one until Wednesday! Sorry!
(WittyUsernameHere, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 15:40, closed)

I know a pair of brothers
Joe and Wayne Kerr.

They changed their names (to Kerr)when their mother got remarried, so it's their fault really.

True story
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Sat 2 Feb 2008, 3:14, closed)

I went to school
with a genuine real life Michael Hunt.
He even had a brother called Kenneth.

Me and my peer group's lack of understanding and sympathy still ashames me to this day.
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Mon 4 Feb 2008, 11:41, closed)

My sister...
...used to go out with Richard Head
( snee held his breath since, Tue 5 Feb 2008, 15:18, closed)