Airhole A-hole...
Barney was a decent, nice-but-dim sort of guy - but also stupidly gullible and stupidly... well... stupid.

One afternoon were talking about whales (as you do) and he seemed quite suspicious when I told him they weren't fish and they breathed air.

- "Ok then, so how to they breath underwater water?" He asked bluntly.
- "You know when they come up to the surface and squirt water in the air? Well that's them breathing out." I said, as uncondescending as I could.

He looked at me like I was an idiot, then started laughing in my face.
- "That's not breathing!" He laughed. "That's them FARTING. Their bums are on the top and they come up to fart! Didn't you even know that!?"
- "Um... I'm pretty sure they're breathing." I replied, slightly stunned by this new information.
- "Think about it..." He added slowly, so I'd understand, "... if they didn't come to the top when they farted, their arseholes would fill up with water and they'd sink."
(tinpixel, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:36, 7 replies)

Barney sounds like a complete wanker and you're better off without him
in my opinion
( Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 16:17, closed)

HAHA... I think you're right, he was a fucking liability.

He also had these weird seizures from time to time - his eyes would roll back white and he'd just sit there looking into space for ages. Then he'd get just up, grab the nearest drink from whoever (even if it was in your hands) and down it in one.

Yes, we're better off without him.
(tinpixel, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 16:35, closed)

To be honest I accept this answer above all others
the man is a fucking geneniouos
(waxdart hello., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 17:11, closed)

He also thinks you're ugly.
Whale biologist!
( The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 17:53, closed)

who smells of freaking porpoise hork?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 19:25, closed)

Barney is a name for the children of toffs and dogs
and cavemen, I suppose. But that's it
( kappynitty doubled your entendre on, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 21:02, closed)

and dinosaurs

(Figmaus, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 13:27, closed)