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This is a question Stupid Dares

I once dared my mate to eat one of those blue cakes out of a urinal. He won his 50p, and got his stomach pumped into the bargain.

Stupid dares, eh?

(, Thu 1 Nov 2007, 11:22)
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Turn up the heat...
Most of my dares seem to revolve around chilli or other hot foods so here we go...

Dare #1:

Tiger Balm. This stuff is kind of like deep heat in that it warms and relaxes muscles. My mate, Fish, was curious about the stuff so i told him it was a numbing agent and dared him to rub a couple of fingerfulls into his eye lids. The Fish, never one to back out of a dare, stepped up the challenge and proceded to really scrub that balm in. It took about 5 seconds for things to kick off by which point it was well beyond the point of no return. He started yelling and ran out of the room but crashed into the door as his eyes weren't quite working as well as they used to and then spent about 10 minutes with his head under a cold tap cursing me and saying that when he could see again he would kick the shit out of me. It took about 2 hours before his eyes could focus properly and come even slightly close to normal again. thankfully, by this point he had seen the funny side and has looked for other victims to try this prank out on.

Dare #2:

The sauce of death. Not the hottest sauce in the world but, at a bracing 120,000 Scovilles, is about 50 times hotter than Tabasco. here is the link if you want some: www.hotsauce.com/Da-Bomb-Beyond-Insanity-Hot-Sauce-p/1321.htm

Anyway, This stuff is like thick dark ketchup and even the tiniest smear can leave your tongue, and any other place you touch if you forgot to REALLY wash your hands, burning for really rather a long time. The worst thing about this is that the delay time before it kicks in is in the order of about 5 seconds. before that it has a lovely smokey flavour and then blows your head off. Fish, again, and his brother Gus were over at mine to help me move house and the drinks were flowing. Gus was emptying my cupboard when he saw my hot sauce selection and asked what was the hottest. Da bomb was duly pointed out and he dared us to dare him to drink a teaspoon full. Bear in mind that I like my spicy foods and three drops on a triple decker bacon and egg sarnie nearly rendered it inedible for me. This was too good to pass up and so Gus was soon lined up with said spoon. Quick as a flash, spoon in the gob and then rinsing it down with beer.

"Ah, that's not too bad" says the gus.

"3...2...1..." says I.

" Naa, it's not that baaa..aaaarrrrggghhhhh!!!!"


I have never seen someone in that much pain before. it was spectacular. his face was the colour of beetroot and tears were running down his face. his nose was snotting and he was almost puking. Thank god I had three tubs of yogurt in the fridge as I swear he was almost passing out. Over the next twenty minutes he made my kitchen look like a bomb site as he smeared yogurt over his mouth and lips to cool the burning and spooned the rest of it into his mouth to stop the pain. he couldn't move his mouth properly so half of it dribbled onto the floor and countertop. Fish and I were almost as close as he was to passing out and crying just as hard but for entirly different reasons. Fish had a swig of beer and proclaimed that even the tiny smidge left on the bottle made his eyes water.

Top tip? If you are doing a chilli dare, always have plenty of yogurt about.

Top tip 2? Never try my hot sauces without sober supervision.

Length? It brought tears to his eyes.
(, Wed 7 Nov 2007, 9:22, 4 replies)
Oral application isn't always necessary.
I had some of that sauce, which I put in my housemate's work boots as punishment for moaning. I worked at the same place as him so periodically visited him throughout the morning to see 'how he was'. It was 11 o'clock and my 5th visit and it still wasn't working, I was beginning to feel frustrated.
At lunchtime it was a VERY different matter. I found him behind his machine, boots and socks removed, blowing on his feet with the compressed air line and face grimacing in agony. It took all morning for his sweat pores to open up and for the sauce to soak through his socks, that's why I didn't get immediate results.
This lasted for FOUR WHOLE DAYS, not being able to sleep and for most of his time with his feet in a bowl of cold water.
(, Wed 7 Nov 2007, 9:53, closed)
(, Wed 7 Nov 2007, 10:43, closed)
LOL - Oral application isn't always necessary.
omg i so wish i had known about this... my ex-wifes vibrator only got the TigerBalm.. the shoes... ohh damn i missed out there on the cheating whore-slag... (*im inspired, but wifey MkII I like, so file for future usage).
(, Wed 7 Nov 2007, 11:06, closed)
Haha, chilli sauce rules =)
(, Wed 7 Nov 2007, 12:22, closed)

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