where Christians dare
I was at a Bible Retreat with a few of my friends and we were all sitting round the campfire singing our faves like "Oh Lord," "Lord, You Are Our Lord," and the timeless "Lord Lord Lord" when Jacob got a glint in his eye.

"Dare you to drink that whole 1.5 litre bottle of Irn Bru!" he yelped at Caleb.

In a flash, Caleb had pulled the plastic cap off and started glugging it back. To our amazement, he polished it all off and did a nasty belch too! We were well impressed. So then Jacob turns to Judith and says, "I dare you to recite Psalm 14 backwards!"

A hush settled over the group, but Judith was game and - from memory - recited the whole thing in reverse, to our universal admiration. That girl sure knows her scripture.

The Jacob turned his bucktoothed, freckled gingernut of a head to me and shouted: "Frank! I dare you to hold your hand over the flames for as long as you can!"

My mind was in turmoil. 'What would Jesus do?' I thought. Then it came to me. I opened my Bible, slipped my palm inside and then wrapped a piece of baling wire around the book so that my hand was sandwiched between the covers of the good book. Then I thrust my hand into the fire.

An ominous silence settled over the group as the cover began to smoulder and the Lord's word began to go up in smoke. Judith started to sob and Jacob soiled himself. Isiah (the fat kid, not the prophet) went into convulsions and let forth a sloppy fart as he passed out. And I kept my hand in the fire for five minutes, protected by the Holy Scripture.

"You... you b-b-b-bburned a bible!" said Jacob through the stench of his own ordure.

"And now it's my turn," I said. I dare, you, Jacob, to get your cock out and toss into Judith's open mouth."

And that's pretty much how I was found to be a non-believer at that Bible Retreat.
(frankspencer, Wed 7 Nov 2007, 12:34, 8 replies)

Frank...
If you'd posted this earlier in the week, it would have been a "beast-of"

I clicked anyway..

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 7 Nov 2007, 13:35, closed)

...
*click*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 7 Nov 2007, 13:50, closed)

Legless
You may be right. I'm not tactical enough.
(frankspencer, Wed 7 Nov 2007, 14:12, closed)

How i wish these stories were true

*clicks*
( SocialRobot, Wed 7 Nov 2007, 14:40, closed)

specialchild
In my world, there's really very little difference between truth and falsity. It may have happened, or I might remember it in a few years as a dream I had. Take solace in the fact that my whole life is a fiction.
(frankspencer, Wed 7 Nov 2007, 14:53, closed)

And I get criticised for writing a pack of transparent lies!!!
Well I'll be god-damned!
(Vic Flange, Wed 7 Nov 2007, 16:29, closed)

I too live in a fiction world
I have not eaten Margarine since I was a wee lady because my neighbour was crouched upon our kitchen table handling fistfuls into his mouth like a starving venetian.

Sadly it was all a dream .. oh the sandwiches I could have partaken of!
(Sammyj, Wed 7 Nov 2007, 22:03, closed)

ahh most wonderful
it reminds me of pert boobies
(KaiserPro captain arse rape, Wed 7 Nov 2007, 22:26, closed)