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This is a question Surprise!

Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver asks: Ever given granny a heart attack on her 90th birthday or knocked down the wall between the living room and kitchen by mistake before the wife gets home? Tell us tales of surprises and their fluffy and/or messy endings.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 4 Apr 2013, 12:10)
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I don't know why, but people are always surprised at how LOVELY I am.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 10 Apr 2013, 13:45, 31 replies)
I'm not.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 13:49, closed)
:D
That's because you're LOVELY.
:D
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 10 Apr 2013, 13:59, closed)
the world is a dull place, stuj
loveliness can take people aback.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 14:19, closed)
Duller than stuj?
Fucking hell, I don't want to live in that world
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 14:59, closed)
So kill yourself.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 10 Apr 2013, 15:18, closed)
Thankfully, the world I live in is far more interesting than an internet spastic repeating the word "lovely" in capitals

(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 15:21, closed)
How LOVELY that you got too upset to spell 'than' correctly.
Poor denty-brained emvee.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 10 Apr 2013, 15:25, closed)
So upset that I told another user to kill themselves?
Or less upset than that? What do you think?
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 15:36, closed)
You said you didn't want to live in this world, I just pointed out that you don't have to,
Because I'm LOVELY like that.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 10 Apr 2013, 15:37, closed)
No, I said I wouldn't want to live in *that* world
Do keep up, twat
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 15:39, closed)
*that* world IS *this* world.
Unless you're some sort of LARPing Icke brainbroke.
Oh, right, I see your problem now.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 10 Apr 2013, 15:43, closed)

b3ta.com/questions/surprise/post1930246
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 15:45, closed)
Wow you're properly mentally ill aren't you? Poor emvee :o(

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 16:38, closed)
Not like you to hijack a thread to flaunt your depressingly mundane mental illness.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 19:48, closed)

Don’t be silly mv, you’re an internet spastic too.
(I helped save b3ta! Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Wed 10 Apr 2013, 15:27, closed)
Eh, I forget which one you are

(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 15:37, closed)
Not the "this" one.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 11 Apr 2013, 9:36, closed)
Now now stuj, he doesn't necessarily have to kill himself, he could always fuck off into space.
Why don't you fuck off into space emvee?
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 18:30, closed)
i'm from the north
it's grim up here, or hadn't you heard?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 15:27, closed)
I'm also from the north
Hence why I live in the south
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 15:30, closed)
good point

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 16:28, closed)
True The LOVELY Smashy.

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 10 Apr 2013, 15:18, closed)
I've heard you're so lovely, that kittens fall out of your eyes when you cry over a lost lamb.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 10 Apr 2013, 15:38, closed)
I DIDN'T TOUCH IT!
Uhm, I mean, yes, yes they do The LOVELY Win Pug.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 10 Apr 2013, 15:41, closed)
You're so LOVELY
underaged penguins let you touch them and don't report you or anything.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 17:35, closed)
:( I'm no nonce.
ALL of my penguin harem are legal.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 10 Apr 2013, 17:55, closed)
my apologies, the LOVELY stuj.
My penguin sources having been making up SCURRILOUS lies again. They will be disciplined.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Apr 2013, 11:51, closed)
STUJ!
What a lovely surprise
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 18:28, closed)
:D The LOVELY 2 CAN!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 11 Apr 2013, 7:18, closed)
I'm not surprised stuj
I already knew how LOVELY you are
(I helped save b3ta! Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 10 Apr 2013, 19:34, closed)
:D Ta The LOVELY Foolius.
:D
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 11 Apr 2013, 7:18, closed)

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