The one-armed clock
I'd perform this most Chemistry lessons, sat on the back row, to a proud number of girls - whether they wanted it or not. Looking back I can't see how I didn't get sent to the headteacher, or at least get some form of complaint. I can only assume that the girls LOVED my one-armed clock and for them it was some kind of treat.

At least that's what I told myself at the time. When I regaled my work colleagues with this tale after a few pints they looked at me like I'd revealed myself to be Josef Fritzl. I understand how he feels now.

The most embarrassing aspect of it all was being able to find no way of explaining to my mum why a girl named Lucy Leck had written "mr_chopper, you have a beautiful cock" on my shirt on the last day of school.
(mr_chopper pluggin' up yo' plopper, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 20:35, 11 replies)

OK, what's a one-armed clock?
Please supply an explanation with photos or video.
( Richard Shitheels, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 21:22, closed)

I've been googling all evening
Was too ashamed to admit I didn't know either.
(TalkbackStuck making obscene phonecalls since, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 21:35, closed)

This.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 21:36, closed)

ithink he probably jsut cock his cock out

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 21:42, closed)

Yeh, but I want details so I can add it to the wankbank for later

( Richard Shitheels, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 21:44, closed)

I imagine he waggled it back and forth as well.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 21:46, closed)

if he waggled it back and forth
that'd change the time!
(Something funny, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 22:25, closed)

Well, it wouldn't be a cock clock if it didn't rock.
Tick tock.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:12, closed)

Or is she ...
just dyslexic?
(Que?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 5:31, closed)

RIP Vivian Stanshall...
Hubert was unusual. In his adolescence, during the summer, lying in a northerly direction parallel to the earthly axis he would throw himself naked onto the lawn and with that loathsome bluey roman clockface tattooed about his private parts think about Gene Harlow very hard and from the shadow cast tell the time with remarkable accuracy.
"Look no hands auntie" he would screech. In the winter he would try with birthday candles stuck in the end, it was hours slow and Henry told him to put a sock on the sundial bit.
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 12:47, closed)

Back then, the time was always 11 O'Clock
Nowadays he's lucky to make it to 8.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 14:03, closed)