Bluff comes up trumps
I once worked as a Duty Manager at a large pub and function centre in the North East. During a very slow winter the owner decided to give his gardener and brother the job of repainting all of the function room windows. This they did on a really windy day and in the process managed to splatter my car (which they hadn't bothered to ask me to move) with loads of spots of paint.

I of course was rather unimpressed. I complained to the general manager who promised to get it sorted out. It turned out that getting it "sorted out" (again without consulting me first) involved the same two fuckwits removing the paint with turps and brillo pads! I'm sure i don't need to go into detail about what a mess this made of my beloved motors' paintwork.

This time i went insane and demanded the area manager get involved, he apologised profusely and asked me to get some quotes from body shops to get it sorted. This i did, i found the five best paint shops in the area and got a quote from each one, passed them on to the area manager and was promised that, "i will speak to the owner and get back to you soon".

Nine months later nothing had happened, every time I asked about it I was fobbed off.

I decided to contact my union and after explaining what had happened they told me that as it had gone on for so long there was nothing I could do about it and to just put it down to experience. As I had recently handed in my notice I decided to take a chance on a massive bluff. I wrote to the area manager saying that I felt he had taken an “ignore it long enough and the problem will go away” stance and that if the paintwork wasn’t sorted before I left the company that “I will have no option other than to follow the advice given to me by my union”.

The bluff worked, a week later the car was in the best body shop in Hull getting a full respray with the added bonus that the damage done to my car by some twat in the car park at the Glastonbury Festival also got fixed!
(Fraz1172 Speak Softly but wear a loud shirt, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 20:29, 4 replies)

perfect
the non-specific threat is fantastic, leave it to the victims imagination to conjure up a bogey man.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 21:30, closed)

Very well done
Reminded me of Carrot in Terry Pratchett's Men At Arms, in Men at Arms he's trying to get some information out of a Guild leader, and tells him, with a very serious air, that if the guildmaster doesn't do what he wants, he will, unfortunately and very much against his will, be forced to "carry out the order I was given just before entering." Said order? To leave quietly if the guildmaster refused to help.
(bill, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 15:29, closed)

could be
I'm a fan to and the city guard books are my favorite so maybe that's where I got the idea from!
(Fraz1172 Speak Softly but wear a loud shirt, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 11:30, closed)

Reminds me of this chesty old nut
A cowboy rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on newcomers. When he finished, he found his horse had been stolen. He comes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. "Who stole my horse?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "I'm gonna have another beer and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I'm finished, I'm gonna do what I dun back in Texas and I don't want to have to do what I dun back in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home!"
(Benzyl, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 22:15, closed)