Kinda doing my self over too
I live in a really shit house. Well I say house, it's a flat and I say flat, it's the converted top floor of what used to be one of the most violent and dangerous pubs in the NW of England. (I only found this out AFTER moving in.) People have died here, and I wondered why the rent was so cheap.
Anyway, to cap off this concoction of crap the landlords are total wank (Charge £1 per wash/dry to use our tiny washing machine and massive tumble dryer, are only open between 10:30 and 2:30 and are just generally horrendous.). The first week we moved in my flatmate had to sleep on his floor, in his already cramped room, because of a massive piss stain on his mattress, and they didn't bother to change it for two days. Then when he told them his bed was also broken they took an extra week to fix it.
I asked when I moved in if I could smoke in the house. They said, unequivocally, no. Not under any circumstances.
The toadlady/landlady quipped after I asked "But, erm, we can't check so just don't do it yeah?"
"Oh yeahh, course I won't I'm not even a big smoker anyway (lie #1)" Came my reply.

8 months on and not only have I smoked in this room (and the entire house to boot, including the toilet (NB: if you have a tiny toilet and a load of jazz cigars, its basically law that you have to hotbox. Try it!)) but I've broken the bed, put a hole in the wall, moved all their shit about and just generally not cared for it at all. And the best bit is because of the shitty condition of the house before I moved in they can't blame me because I can say it was like that before. I even have 'dated' pictorial evidence proving this! Its kind of at my detriment, because I live in a shithole, but its my one year of being slovenly before I move in with MR ONS and the missus.
(Donki has been bored since, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 19:02, 5 replies)

Ah, so I take it you're in Preston then?
Gutted!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 20:15, closed)

Hahaha
How did you know?
( Mr.Ons knows you can hear him, Earthmen., Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:23, closed)

THIS IS THE VOICE OF THE MR ONS

( weaver., Sun 20 Jun 2010, 22:54, closed)

HA!
:)
( evilamnesiac says fuck you Prince, Mon 21 Jun 2010, 7:04, closed)

We know you can hear us, Earthmen.

( Mr.Ons knows you can hear him, Earthmen., Mon 21 Jun 2010, 16:23, closed)