As an apprentice...
I was working with PVC pipe, and using solvent weld 'glue' to join the various fittings. One of the fittings required a reducing bush to be fitted inside. like this:

parkland-eng.co.uk/application/css/images/P20623492.jpg

You may notice the ridge inside. This is what the pipe is pushed up against.

HOWEVER if the bush is glued in the wrong way round, the pipe won't go in.

I made this mistake and was given a file and told to remove the ridge so the pipe would fit inside. I spent about 2 hours doing this, after which my boss examined it and then threw it in the bin.

Handing me a fresh set of fittings he said "you won't make that mistake again will ya?"

And I never have.
(Frample Tromwibbler climbs an obstacle like old people fuck, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 20:41, 12 replies)

Did you really get your penis stuck in one of those?
That must have been very sore.
( 4Q just lurking, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 20:50, closed)

I had to re-read this
Before I saw the innuendo. Nobody likes a bush full of glue.

LOL
(Frample Tromwibbler climbs an obstacle like old people fuck, Fri 8 Feb 2013, 20:53, closed)

Ah! I'm a great believer in 'traditional' apprenticeships....
....there's nowt like a bit of good old British humiliation, degradation and belittlement of the young and partially skilled to produce a decent craftsman. And I mean it.
(Colonel Blink is now officially a pretentious prick, Sat 9 Feb 2013, 11:20, closed)

Hello, my boss sent me to ask for a long weight
and some sky hooks.
( 4Q just lurking, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 3:06, closed)

Spirit level bubbles
Are my favourite
(Frample Tromwibbler climbs an obstacle like old people fuck, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 10:41, closed)

Can you please tell me what's a
piecost?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 10 Feb 2013, 10:51, closed)

The dry bit,
round the edge?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 13:58, closed)

Once got sent for a "a new bubble for my spirit level", Came back with a replacement vial containing the bubble and the words "up yours ugly" aimed at the idiot that sent me.
Rubber or glass nails was a favourite one of mine for any of the work experience youngsters.
(Finster Ate a cat biscuit for a bet, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 21:34, closed)

One of my mates grand-da's
as an apprentice iron worker. A 12" I beam had to be shortened by a few inches and there is a discussion on the best way to do this. "Could use a hacksaw" says the lad. "Oh ah," says the foreman, "that will be a good job for you." So he cuts to the line for 3 long days scraping back and forth with a hand saw until the piece finally comes off.
The foreman looks and says it is still too long. He rolls up an acetylene torch and in five minutes cuts to the right length.
"Lesson #1, laddie," he says, "until you know what you're talking about, keep your fekkin pie hole shut."
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 15:35, closed)

One of the senior pipe fitters I used to work with told me when he and his brother first apprenticed, his brother got sent to assist the riggers with a building framework being constructed in the yard, an old guy was welding some pipe bracket supports to the uprights on a scaffold and told this blokes brother to climb up, told him where to stand and to look away as he welded the bracket on.
The company used to issue external steel toecap boots to its workforce and the rotten old bastard had firmly welded the youngster to the steelwork by his toecaps.

I just used to fill new starters rigger boots up with expanding foam if they left then lying about the locker room instead of putting them away like they are supposed to.
(Finster Ate a cat biscuit for a bet, Sun 10 Feb 2013, 21:48, closed)

I don't know much about engineering, apart from 2 facts:
1. The external diameter of a pipe must ALWAYS be greater than the internal diameter

2. Pipes of less than 1mm in length are referred to as "washers"
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 0:25, closed)

1 and 1/4" repair washers also double up nicely as poker chips for playing 3 card brag, value being represented by the diameter of the hole in the middle.
(Finster Ate a cat biscuit for a bet, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 14:23, closed)