Breakfast item exchanges
There was a place in Brighton (Puccini's?) that did really good breakfasts.

I don't like eggs, so they always let me have a sausage instead. It turned out they were quite liberal with their exchange policy.

The next week I asked if I could have 2 sausages instead of 1, and they obliged.

But eventually they put up a sign saying "no exchanges" when my friend ordered, "small breakfast please, but can you swap the beans for a chicken kiev".
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:38, 7 replies)

I like this idea
I don't like beans with a fry up because it swamps the plate. I reckon a dollop of beans is worth a rasher of bacon, or some more mushrooms.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 11:43, closed)

You should use the sausage
as a breakwater
(Jeremy Paxmans Itchy Gusset, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:02, closed)

Ah.
The great British breakfast debate rears it's head.
Hash browns also work well, but sausages are definitely needed to hold back the tinned tomatoes.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 13:37, closed)

Fried bread
to stop the spread of tomatoes, like a sandbag.

Black pudding makes a great island.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:34, closed)

I've tried various food structures to hold back the beans
but in the end I decided it was just easier to boycott the beans.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 14:32, closed)

Of course, if it's an all day brekkie,
you can cheat and get some chips. they stop most nastiness.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 27 Oct 2008, 15:02, closed)

I used to cook in a Little Chef
which is amazingly overpriced, but still. There were about 8 different fry ups on the menu, and all the old biddies would swap all the bits about until they were blue in the face. Wait staff introduced a rule you could only swap meat for meat, non meat for non meat to weed out all the cheeky fuckers thinking they were oh so clever.

If it was up to me I'd have no changes allowed, it is a royal pain in the bollocks when you know all the fry up combinations by heart but 80% of the orders are +beans -mushrooms -1 egg +tomato etc etc etc, have to keep looking at the pad. Not fun when you're trying to cook 30 fry ups at a time.

Consequently I only ever order standard fry ups in pubs, greasy spoons etc as I don't want to risk the 400% extra chance of it getting spat in. Not something I ever did, but I understand how frustrating it can be as a cook. There's about 50 things on the menu, can you not just order one of them?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 12:44, closed)