How to remove red wine from light carpets.
1.Prevent the spillage from seeping further into your carpet by placing some kitchen roll over the affected area and press down hard.
2.Keep pressure on the kitchen roll for a good 10 seconds and then replace with a clean piece of kitchen roll and repeat.
3.Get a cup and mix in approximately 5 tablespoons of salt, 5 grams of toothpaste (Colgate 2 in 1 works best I find), 100ml of hot water and 1 spoon of plain flour.
4.Throw the cup out of the window and draw a dinosaur on the floor with tomato ketchup. Wait to dry.
5.Once the ketchup has dried, begin playing the trombone and thinking deeply about your mothers menstrual cycle.
6.Pull down your undergarments and do a poo on the wine stain.
7.Roll your carpet up and put it in the bin.
8.Go to bed and reflect on a job well done.
( Mr Nerdy-Speccy-FuckNuts Ouchy ouchy wa wa!, Sun 12 Dec 2010, 11:07, Reply)